Not wishing to open up a can of worms, here's a truly excellent piece by Marcus Brigstocke about Religion.
Sunday, 30 December 2007
Tuesday, 25 December 2007
This morning, after opening the presents that Santa brought, we held an impromptu auction - my bro, my Dad & I ended up with several presents intended for one another.
Then there was a large "Rejected" pile in the middle of the room, including all the books Mum bought for my brother (I told you!) and most of the clothes they bought us (I explained years ago that I wasn't going to "grow into" clothes any more but Mum remains optimistic...)
Don't get me wrong, we are grateful. It's just that we accepted years ago that we're rubbish at buying things for each other.
We take a gamble on the presents we choose for one another, and if/when we get it wrong, we take the receipts and go shopping for the stuff we like - almost like a lottery ticket and gift certificate rolled into one.
Here's a song called Christmas In Africa.
Hope you're having fun
(although there's probably a reason you're online at this time...)
-S-
Then there was a large "Rejected" pile in the middle of the room, including all the books Mum bought for my brother (I told you!) and most of the clothes they bought us (I explained years ago that I wasn't going to "grow into" clothes any more but Mum remains optimistic...)
Don't get me wrong, we are grateful. It's just that we accepted years ago that we're rubbish at buying things for each other.
We take a gamble on the presents we choose for one another, and if/when we get it wrong, we take the receipts and go shopping for the stuff we like - almost like a lottery ticket and gift certificate rolled into one.
Here's a song called Christmas In Africa.
Hope you're having fun
(although there's probably a reason you're online at this time...)
-S-
Monday, 24 December 2007
So, seeing as everyone else is full of Christmas cheer and I'm currently really fed up with pretty much everything apart from Christmas, I was going to go on a major rant about having to work & exams & being single & getting older, etc...
But, rather annoyingly, I just had a bit of a moment and realised that they can all be good things & I shouldn't grumble.
I'm working nights tomorrow - but that means that at least I get to see my family tonight & spend some of Christmas Day with them, and we can still do the presents thing, have a nice lunch together, talk all the way through the Queen's Speech... and by the time we get to that part of the day when everyone's tetchy and overloaded on turkey, I can say "Sorry, gotta go, see you in a few days." (Actually, I might try this next year too, even if I'm not on-call...)
Everyone at work will be in the same situation too - it might even be quite fun.
Exams... well, I gotta do them I s'pose. Anyway, I kinda enjoy being a bit geeky sometimes. And I love teaching, so I might as well make sure I know it all perfectly before trying to pass on the knowledge and hitting a wall.
My plans for where & with whom I was originally going to spend Christmas were very, very different, but sadly that all fell apart a little while ago.
Hey ho... things change all the time. What can you do, eh?
And we're all getting older...
So what? It doesn't mean we have to grow up ;o)
Have a great Christmas you guys.
And if you think you're having a bit of a rubbish time, have a look around and appreciate what you do have. You never know how long you'll have it for.
Right, enough psychobollocks - here's the awesome Xmas song I posted last year.
I love you guys.
Have a good one
-Suman-
(Now get off the Internet and go spread the love!)
But, rather annoyingly, I just had a bit of a moment and realised that they can all be good things & I shouldn't grumble.
I'm working nights tomorrow - but that means that at least I get to see my family tonight & spend some of Christmas Day with them, and we can still do the presents thing, have a nice lunch together, talk all the way through the Queen's Speech... and by the time we get to that part of the day when everyone's tetchy and overloaded on turkey, I can say "Sorry, gotta go, see you in a few days." (Actually, I might try this next year too, even if I'm not on-call...)
Everyone at work will be in the same situation too - it might even be quite fun.
Exams... well, I gotta do them I s'pose. Anyway, I kinda enjoy being a bit geeky sometimes. And I love teaching, so I might as well make sure I know it all perfectly before trying to pass on the knowledge and hitting a wall.
My plans for where & with whom I was originally going to spend Christmas were very, very different, but sadly that all fell apart a little while ago.
Hey ho... things change all the time. What can you do, eh?
And we're all getting older...
So what? It doesn't mean we have to grow up ;o)
Have a great Christmas you guys.
And if you think you're having a bit of a rubbish time, have a look around and appreciate what you do have. You never know how long you'll have it for.
Right, enough psychobollocks - here's the awesome Xmas song I posted last year.
I love you guys.
Have a good one
-Suman-
(Now get off the Internet and go spread the love!)
Saturday, 22 December 2007
Xmas shopping, with a hangover, with my mum.
What I thinking...?
I genuinely like several Xmas songs - individually. But hearing them non-stop from October somehow isn't the same.
BTW, did you hear that in "Fairytale of New York" Radio 1 censored the words "slut" & "faggot"- for one day, until the complaints rolled in. And have you noticed that everyone's only playing the original Band Aid (Do they know it's Christmas) rather than the remake from a couple of years ago...?
In one shop yesterday they were playing dance remixes of old Xmas classics. We have a new Number One. I officially hate this style of Xmas music more than any other.
Anyway, I wasn't feeling too clever, and Mum was dragging me round looking for books for my brother.
He's notoriously difficult to buy for, being the intelligent one in the family (ie the one that doesn't work for the NHS).
Mum, on the other hand, tends to choose presents purely based on the colour & design of the cover, rather than, oh I don't know, the author or subject matter.
So as usual, I have to reject a huge number of books she suggests because they are, say, girly romantic novels, or for children. Or are utter bollocks.
After a while, she tells me I'm being "grumpy". And doesn't seem to notice that, the more times she calls me "grumpy", the more grumpy I get.
I got very grumpy.
Eventually, I stopped vetoing books - and now my brother's going to end up with stuff he doesn't want on Xmas morning and somehow I'll be to blame. Sod it, he'll love the present I got him, I spent ages choosing it and it cost a fortune!
Otherwise I'll murder him with it.
Shopping with Mum is usually difficult anyway. She is a more than a wee bit shorter than me (or almost anyone else in the world) but insists on holding my arm, so I have a constant stoop when I'm walking with her. And every now & then she vanishes like a small child; something shiny out of the way having caught her eye, she scurries off. So I end up like a distraught father trying to find a toddler in a crowded shop at Xmas.
Only worse, this toddler has a credit card and no taste.
Then again, shopping on my own is rubbish too sometimes:
- I always seem to look like I work there, whichever shop I'm in.
I don't know if this is a common phenomenon and that maybe everybody gets assumed to be an employee; I haven't conducted any kind of detailed survey yet. But this always happens to me, almost every time I go shopping. It's not the same as asking a passing fellow-shopper for a bit of help. That's fine. I'm usually very nice and will give someone a hand, especially if they're elderly and infirm.
Or if she's my age and attractive.
But I've checked. I'm not wearing a name badge that says "My name is Steve, I am paid to work here. How can I pretend to help you?"
Likewise I'm not wearing anything that could be mistake for uniform in that or any other shop.
(Schoolboy error - if you're Indian and eating in a curry house, don't wear a white shirt or people assume you work there.
I once took an entire table's order (including any bread or naan). Then I sat down and ate my dinner.)
But even if the staff in the shop wear shirts, ties & name badges, and I'm wearing a jumper, scarf & overcoat, people assume I work there. Why is this? Is it my face? Do I look too confident? Too grumpy?
I like to avoid shopping on purpose but buy things by accident. This is why I have racks of t-shirts I almost never wear (this is true sadly, as anyone who's ever visited my flat will testify; they even used to be in colour order, it's a bit OCD really, I probably should throw them all away... but they look so pretty there on their hangers...).
I've been trying for years to persuade any female friend to throw out 2/3 of my wardrobe and then take me shopping but no-one's ever risen to the challenge.
Then again, if you see how some of my friends dress, I look positively normal...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm working over Christmas, but I'm doing nights. That way, I have to work when everyone else in the world is off, but I still get time to argue with my family. Double whammy.
If I don't blog in the next few days, I hope you all have a fantastic winter holiday, spending it how you want, with the people you want to be with.
Take care
- Suman -
What I thinking...?
I genuinely like several Xmas songs - individually. But hearing them non-stop from October somehow isn't the same.
BTW, did you hear that in "Fairytale of New York" Radio 1 censored the words "slut" & "faggot"- for one day, until the complaints rolled in. And have you noticed that everyone's only playing the original Band Aid (Do they know it's Christmas) rather than the remake from a couple of years ago...?
In one shop yesterday they were playing dance remixes of old Xmas classics. We have a new Number One. I officially hate this style of Xmas music more than any other.
Anyway, I wasn't feeling too clever, and Mum was dragging me round looking for books for my brother.
He's notoriously difficult to buy for, being the intelligent one in the family (ie the one that doesn't work for the NHS).
Mum, on the other hand, tends to choose presents purely based on the colour & design of the cover, rather than, oh I don't know, the author or subject matter.
So as usual, I have to reject a huge number of books she suggests because they are, say, girly romantic novels, or for children. Or are utter bollocks.
After a while, she tells me I'm being "grumpy". And doesn't seem to notice that, the more times she calls me "grumpy", the more grumpy I get.
I got very grumpy.
Eventually, I stopped vetoing books - and now my brother's going to end up with stuff he doesn't want on Xmas morning and somehow I'll be to blame. Sod it, he'll love the present I got him, I spent ages choosing it and it cost a fortune!
Otherwise I'll murder him with it.
Shopping with Mum is usually difficult anyway. She is a more than a wee bit shorter than me (or almost anyone else in the world) but insists on holding my arm, so I have a constant stoop when I'm walking with her. And every now & then she vanishes like a small child; something shiny out of the way having caught her eye, she scurries off. So I end up like a distraught father trying to find a toddler in a crowded shop at Xmas.
Only worse, this toddler has a credit card and no taste.
Then again, shopping on my own is rubbish too sometimes:
- I always seem to look like I work there, whichever shop I'm in.
I don't know if this is a common phenomenon and that maybe everybody gets assumed to be an employee; I haven't conducted any kind of detailed survey yet. But this always happens to me, almost every time I go shopping. It's not the same as asking a passing fellow-shopper for a bit of help. That's fine. I'm usually very nice and will give someone a hand, especially if they're elderly and infirm.
Or if she's my age and attractive.
But I've checked. I'm not wearing a name badge that says "My name is Steve, I am paid to work here. How can I pretend to help you?"
Likewise I'm not wearing anything that could be mistake for uniform in that or any other shop.
(Schoolboy error - if you're Indian and eating in a curry house, don't wear a white shirt or people assume you work there.
I once took an entire table's order (including any bread or naan). Then I sat down and ate my dinner.)
But even if the staff in the shop wear shirts, ties & name badges, and I'm wearing a jumper, scarf & overcoat, people assume I work there. Why is this? Is it my face? Do I look too confident? Too grumpy?
I like to avoid shopping on purpose but buy things by accident. This is why I have racks of t-shirts I almost never wear (this is true sadly, as anyone who's ever visited my flat will testify; they even used to be in colour order, it's a bit OCD really, I probably should throw them all away... but they look so pretty there on their hangers...).
I've been trying for years to persuade any female friend to throw out 2/3 of my wardrobe and then take me shopping but no-one's ever risen to the challenge.
Then again, if you see how some of my friends dress, I look positively normal...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm working over Christmas, but I'm doing nights. That way, I have to work when everyone else in the world is off, but I still get time to argue with my family. Double whammy.
If I don't blog in the next few days, I hope you all have a fantastic winter holiday, spending it how you want, with the people you want to be with.
Take care
- Suman -
Monday, 17 December 2007
Saturday, 8 December 2007
Tuesday, 4 December 2007
Well, I was expecting to write another post a few hours after my cycling spree (down AND uphill) saying that I was totally exhausted. That I'd got cramp in my fingers playing the piano that night, and got pain in muscles that I didn't even know I had.
But that didn't happen. The consequences of my foray into physical exercise are much worse.
I'm hungry.
For various reasons, for the last 3 months or so I've been off my food a bit.
Not starving, just not eating 3 meals a day when I only fancy brunch and a light dinner. I'd got a little bit podgy anyway so it was no bad thing...
But since going cycling (and remember, we're only talking one occasoin) it's like a switch has been turned on. I've been really really hungry.
Physiologically, it's understandable, you use up energy, your body wants to replace it. But, for example, I cooked a pasta dish large enough to last me at least 2 meals, and I ate the whole lot non-stop, standing up in the kitchen without even serving it out of the pan!
I have just been pigging. I even got up during dinner to get a drink and managed to eat several handfuls of peanuts before I'd sat back down again!
So either I have to find a way of limiting this hunger or, heaven forbid, start doing more exercise.
Life is so unfair... *
*irony
But that didn't happen. The consequences of my foray into physical exercise are much worse.
I'm hungry.
For various reasons, for the last 3 months or so I've been off my food a bit.
Not starving, just not eating 3 meals a day when I only fancy brunch and a light dinner. I'd got a little bit podgy anyway so it was no bad thing...
But since going cycling (and remember, we're only talking one occasoin) it's like a switch has been turned on. I've been really really hungry.
Physiologically, it's understandable, you use up energy, your body wants to replace it. But, for example, I cooked a pasta dish large enough to last me at least 2 meals, and I ate the whole lot non-stop, standing up in the kitchen without even serving it out of the pan!
I have just been pigging. I even got up during dinner to get a drink and managed to eat several handfuls of peanuts before I'd sat back down again!
So either I have to find a way of limiting this hunger or, heaven forbid, start doing more exercise.
Life is so unfair... *
*irony
Thursday, 29 November 2007
Wednesday, 28 November 2007
HEALTH ALERT: I just got cramp. In one of my legs.
OK so it's not that big a deal, but I was just sitting still in a chair at the time.
I got cramp without even moving.
This is worrying to me because I've agreed to go cycling tomorrow. And I've only ridden a bike once this year. In fact, I've got quite unfit in the last few months.
And the person I'm cycling with is, I believe, a triathlete.
Fortunately, she knows CPR...
OK so it's not that big a deal, but I was just sitting still in a chair at the time.
I got cramp without even moving.
This is worrying to me because I've agreed to go cycling tomorrow. And I've only ridden a bike once this year. In fact, I've got quite unfit in the last few months.
And the person I'm cycling with is, I believe, a triathlete.
Fortunately, she knows CPR...
Monday, 19 November 2007
Predictive text is a great invention, apart from a few basic flaws:
- People are idiots. They don't look at what they have written before pressing SEND. And sometimes, one combination of keypresses can lead to several different words.
For example - "rejected" and "selected". Using the wrong one does change the meaning a bit.
Others alternatives are just surreal:
"Smirnoff" = "poisoned"
"Newham" = "Mexico"
"Ask the cool barmaid for nine pints of beer" = "Ask the book carnage for mind shots of adds"
And be careful when mentioning your "dualing aunt"...
- The predictive text dictionary was written by an idiot.
It does contain words that you wouldn't expect to need that often, such as "conjunctivitis" and "infanticide" and the names of every African country (try it).
And yet it sometimes misses words which, I'm fairly sure, are real and in common usage. Like "Claire" (and "penguin").
- It guesses.
Sometimes it helpfully suggests words. Words which no-one in their right mind would try and use because they are not words.
The person whose job it was to program a bit of common sense into the dictionary was off sick that day. So it happily suggests "prioritishmi"and "landfe", because, of course, words are much more likely to end in "-hmi" and "-fe" than "-ing" or "-ed".
It seems to accept that something like "aworntytodelngoglo" is a real word. Likewise "poplilintinsllogekalsilalekokun".
Possibly useful words in Wales or the Himalayas.
Not in Putney.
- My phone has developed some kind of Alzheimers.
It insists that my name is Rumbo Airwar.
I teach it the correct spelling. Yet soon it has forgotten and I have to teach it again.
This happens with a lot of words - I have taught it "Anaesthetist", but after a short while, it refuses to remember it.
Luckily it can cope with "gas man".
I've had the phone very nearly a year now. This has suddenly got much worse the last few weeks.
Coincidentally, my phone service provider (I won't mention the company's name, but it's a colour which rhymes with... er... nothing rhymes with it), has recently started ringing me up offering me a new handset (& more expensive contract).
Suspicious...
- People are idiots. They don't look at what they have written before pressing SEND. And sometimes, one combination of keypresses can lead to several different words.
For example - "rejected" and "selected". Using the wrong one does change the meaning a bit.
Others alternatives are just surreal:
"Smirnoff" = "poisoned"
"Newham" = "Mexico"
"Ask the cool barmaid for nine pints of beer" = "Ask the book carnage for mind shots of adds"
And be careful when mentioning your "dualing aunt"...
- The predictive text dictionary was written by an idiot.
It does contain words that you wouldn't expect to need that often, such as "conjunctivitis" and "infanticide" and the names of every African country (try it).
And yet it sometimes misses words which, I'm fairly sure, are real and in common usage. Like "Claire" (and "penguin").
- It guesses.
Sometimes it helpfully suggests words. Words which no-one in their right mind would try and use because they are not words.
The person whose job it was to program a bit of common sense into the dictionary was off sick that day. So it happily suggests "prioritishmi"and "landfe", because, of course, words are much more likely to end in "-hmi" and "-fe" than "-ing" or "-ed".
It seems to accept that something like "aworntytodelngoglo" is a real word. Likewise "poplilintinsllogekalsilalekokun".
Possibly useful words in Wales or the Himalayas.
Not in Putney.
- My phone has developed some kind of Alzheimers.
It insists that my name is Rumbo Airwar.
I teach it the correct spelling. Yet soon it has forgotten and I have to teach it again.
This happens with a lot of words - I have taught it "Anaesthetist", but after a short while, it refuses to remember it.
Luckily it can cope with "gas man".
I've had the phone very nearly a year now. This has suddenly got much worse the last few weeks.
Coincidentally, my phone service provider (I won't mention the company's name, but it's a colour which rhymes with... er... nothing rhymes with it), has recently started ringing me up offering me a new handset (& more expensive contract).
Suspicious...
Saturday, 10 November 2007
You bunch of sickos!
Thank you for the wonderful (and frankly, disturbing) suggestions some of you made for the Bad Taste fancy dress costumes. The one that made me laugh the most was the one involving Tic-Tacs...
I ended up wearing a pair of theatre scrubs, a handmade badge saying "GINOKOLOJIST" and... um... a prosthesis. As a costume it worked. (Before you say it, no, I was not dressing as anyone in particular).
Other guests at the party included Princess Di (with scars), Mr deMenezezezezez (with wounds) and a fetus. I felt sorry for the people who didn't come in fancy dress - how silly did you look...? Ha ha!
It was all a good laugh except:
- someone else took over DJing from me (surely Chesney Hawkes, Dr Alban & Britney are what you want at a BadTaste party)
- someone put olive oil in the punch
- I fell asleep on the sofa and missed half the party.
Luckily I was not abused in any fashion while I slept...
At least I think I wasn't...
Thank you for the wonderful (and frankly, disturbing) suggestions some of you made for the Bad Taste fancy dress costumes. The one that made me laugh the most was the one involving Tic-Tacs...
I ended up wearing a pair of theatre scrubs, a handmade badge saying "GINOKOLOJIST" and... um... a prosthesis. As a costume it worked. (Before you say it, no, I was not dressing as anyone in particular).
Other guests at the party included Princess Di (with scars), Mr deMenezezezezez (with wounds) and a fetus. I felt sorry for the people who didn't come in fancy dress - how silly did you look...? Ha ha!
It was all a good laugh except:
- someone else took over DJing from me (surely Chesney Hawkes, Dr Alban & Britney are what you want at a BadTaste party)
- someone put olive oil in the punch
- I fell asleep on the sofa and missed half the party.
Luckily I was not abused in any fashion while I slept...
At least I think I wasn't...
Friday, 9 November 2007
If you were wondering, it took me almost 2 hours to walk home from Piccadilly Circus. Thank you for keeping me company on the phone for the first hour - it felt great to chat to you again. So many, many more things we didn’t get to talk about, of both critical importance and of absolutely monumental irrelevance. Plus I wanted to sing you the new Hallelujah I wrote ('cos I know you'd get it).
Thanks for letting me eat into your sleep time. Wish we could’ve talked longer. It was horribly empty after you went.
I got home and nearly fell over Schrodinger’s drumkit. Tomorrow I’m gonna open the box and buy a D-lock for what's inside. Probably - depends on what's in it.
Have a wonderful time on holiday.
Sorry about the broken "present" (couldn't repair it for you in time).
And let's chat again one day.
xSx
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
What? It’s my blog…
Thanks for letting me eat into your sleep time. Wish we could’ve talked longer. It was horribly empty after you went.
I got home and nearly fell over Schrodinger’s drumkit. Tomorrow I’m gonna open the box and buy a D-lock for what's inside. Probably - depends on what's in it.
Have a wonderful time on holiday.
Sorry about the broken "present" (couldn't repair it for you in time).
And let's chat again one day.
xSx
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
What? It’s my blog…
Tuesday, 6 November 2007
Saturday, 3 November 2007
I'm several posts behind, but that's OK because I haven't got my internet working in my new flat. So you forgive me.
Went to a Hallowe'en party last week. I went to the fancy dress shop to find werewolf stuff (cos I hadn't shaved for a while, and anyway, it's really hard to look like the undead, vampire, zombie pirate, etc when you've got a tan like mine).
Werewolf costumes came in two categories:
1) Shit - totally crap, unconvincing, bit of felt stuck to the jaw. No fun there.
2) Werewolfoplasty - amazing full body transformation into a proper armed psycho-werewolf. But fucking expensive, especially for just one evening.
Luckily (actually, last time this happened I ended up travelling to Africa for a month) there was a really enthusiastic (OK, and cute) shop assistant. Much banter.
I leave the shop with devil horns and enough red body make-up to paint an elephant.
So I go to the party as the devil.
Lots of fun, particularly going up to strangers who've had far too much to drink and telling them that they're "on my list".
But after a while the make up runs a bit in the heat.
You can identify anyone I'd kissed on the cheek by the red stain.
And when I got up the next morning, there were traces of red make-up on the taps, sink, light switches, walls. And I was moving out in a few hours. Bugger.
------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm going to a Bad Taste Party this evening.
The hostess is going as Maddy.
I was considering going as the hostess's ex, and harassing her all evening. I think the joke would wear thin pretty quickly tho. And I don't want to go as a knobhead.
My physiotherapist friend is refusing to lend me her jumper (so I can cover the "THE" in PHYSIOTHERAPIST)
I've got one idea, but can you suggest anything else? Preferably easy...
Went to a Hallowe'en party last week. I went to the fancy dress shop to find werewolf stuff (cos I hadn't shaved for a while, and anyway, it's really hard to look like the undead, vampire, zombie pirate, etc when you've got a tan like mine).
Werewolf costumes came in two categories:
1) Shit - totally crap, unconvincing, bit of felt stuck to the jaw. No fun there.
2) Werewolfoplasty - amazing full body transformation into a proper armed psycho-werewolf. But fucking expensive, especially for just one evening.
Luckily (actually, last time this happened I ended up travelling to Africa for a month) there was a really enthusiastic (OK, and cute) shop assistant. Much banter.
I leave the shop with devil horns and enough red body make-up to paint an elephant.
So I go to the party as the devil.
Lots of fun, particularly going up to strangers who've had far too much to drink and telling them that they're "on my list".
But after a while the make up runs a bit in the heat.
You can identify anyone I'd kissed on the cheek by the red stain.
And when I got up the next morning, there were traces of red make-up on the taps, sink, light switches, walls. And I was moving out in a few hours. Bugger.
------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm going to a Bad Taste Party this evening.
The hostess is going as Maddy.
I was considering going as the hostess's ex, and harassing her all evening. I think the joke would wear thin pretty quickly tho. And I don't want to go as a knobhead.
My physiotherapist friend is refusing to lend me her jumper (so I can cover the "THE" in PHYSIOTHERAPIST)
I've got one idea, but can you suggest anything else? Preferably easy...
Friday, 26 October 2007
Have you seen this excellent comic site? xkcd
It's usually science/maths jokes for geeks, but I like today's one too!
And also there's Perry Bible Fellowship - twisted but brilliant.
It's usually science/maths jokes for geeks, but I like today's one too!
And also there's Perry Bible Fellowship - twisted but brilliant.
Wednesday, 24 October 2007
If anyone tells you, when the fuel light comes up on the car dashboard, that you've got at least 30 miles-worth left in the tank... you might want to correct them.
Happened to me last week - light came up, spent the rest of the day doing short hops around London, while half-heartedly keeping an eye out for petrol stations without success. Driving back late at night, totally fed up after a really good day that I knew all along was going to end utterly miserably (you know who you are), on the way back the few petrol stations whose locations I knew were all shut.
Approaching Putney Hill I remembered one that I knew would be open, less than 3 miles away.
But it's not a shallow hill. And what little fuel there was left must've all shifted to one end of the tank. So the car started spluttering and then stopped. Halfway up a hill.
Initial management:
Handbrake, hazard lights, profuse swearing.
Further management:
More swearing.
Then I thought, if I could free wheel back and turn into a side road, the petrol would move & at least I'd be able to start engine again & drive somewhere avoiding the hill.
Nup - the power steering wouldn't work with the engine off & I couldn't help steering back into the kerb.
I don't like relying on people when I don't absolutely have to (apart from at work where there are appropriate colleagues to share problems with).
But like anyone at times of non-life-threatening crisis, there are certain people you instinctively go to for help or support.
Like when you're feeling so ill you want to die (even if it's just a cold).
Or when anything else really bad but completely get-over-able happens and you just need someone.
Muuuu-um.
A short while later, Dad drives up bearing a plastic can full of petrol.
Not once does he say "Told you" (which was probably worse 'cos at least then I could say something in return), he just helps me fill up & we go home.
Moral of the story: Never forget family.
I'm really lucky that we are quite close and we've never had any real problems with each other, as I know many families have had.
In this world, there are only a few people with which you have a true permanent connection; a special connection that you don't share with the remaining 6 million vertical apes jostling for attention on this big ball of rock.
If ever you can, fight to preserve what you have - love (or at least tolerate & be there for) your family.
Saying that, I probably ought to get in touch with them actually, I haven't seen them since... oops...
Happened to me last week - light came up, spent the rest of the day doing short hops around London, while half-heartedly keeping an eye out for petrol stations without success. Driving back late at night, totally fed up after a really good day that I knew all along was going to end utterly miserably (you know who you are), on the way back the few petrol stations whose locations I knew were all shut.
Approaching Putney Hill I remembered one that I knew would be open, less than 3 miles away.
But it's not a shallow hill. And what little fuel there was left must've all shifted to one end of the tank. So the car started spluttering and then stopped. Halfway up a hill.
Initial management:
Handbrake, hazard lights, profuse swearing.
Further management:
More swearing.
Then I thought, if I could free wheel back and turn into a side road, the petrol would move & at least I'd be able to start engine again & drive somewhere avoiding the hill.
Nup - the power steering wouldn't work with the engine off & I couldn't help steering back into the kerb.
I don't like relying on people when I don't absolutely have to (apart from at work where there are appropriate colleagues to share problems with).
But like anyone at times of non-life-threatening crisis, there are certain people you instinctively go to for help or support.
Like when you're feeling so ill you want to die (even if it's just a cold).
Or when anything else really bad but completely get-over-able happens and you just need someone.
Muuuu-um.
A short while later, Dad drives up bearing a plastic can full of petrol.
Not once does he say "Told you" (which was probably worse 'cos at least then I could say something in return), he just helps me fill up & we go home.
Moral of the story: Never forget family.
I'm really lucky that we are quite close and we've never had any real problems with each other, as I know many families have had.
In this world, there are only a few people with which you have a true permanent connection; a special connection that you don't share with the remaining 6 million vertical apes jostling for attention on this big ball of rock.
If ever you can, fight to preserve what you have - love (or at least tolerate & be there for) your family.
Saying that, I probably ought to get in touch with them actually, I haven't seen them since... oops...
Saturday, 20 October 2007
Driving home just now I approached a roundabout, 4 exits.
Most of the traffic was coming from the high street on the right, going across the roundabout and trying to come off at the left exit - except the cars on the left were backed up due to a zebra crossing; so there was a line of cars queuing from right to left, not going anywhere.
On the other hand, I wanted to go across to the exit opposite. There was an empty section of the roundabout ahead of me marked Keep Clear, presumably for this very scenario. As no cars were coming, I started off.
Suddenly this skinhead chav whizzes round from the right, screeches to a halt at the Keep Clear box (which is still empty 'cos I've barely moved) and starts swearing at me through his open passenger side window, across his girlfriend who's sitting in the passenger seat.
I smile (which I admit was done to incense him further) but gesture for him to go through (there's nowhere for him to go of course but I thought it might calm him down a bit) - no, he stays there and carries on shouting at me.
At least I think he was shouting. My windows were shut and there was classical music on the radio so I couldn't hear him. It was almost like watching a TV documentary. This man looked like a shaved baboon, baring his teeth and gnashing away - goodness knows what he was saying but I don't think it was complimentary; I can't lipread very well, but I think he might've said something about wanting a banana...
He ranted on for about 20 seconds.
His girlfriend was looking pretty unimpressed already...
and then he spat at my car...
which was quite a way away from his...
so most of it went over her!
I'm trying to imagine the conversation they must've had as he drove off...
Most of the traffic was coming from the high street on the right, going across the roundabout and trying to come off at the left exit - except the cars on the left were backed up due to a zebra crossing; so there was a line of cars queuing from right to left, not going anywhere.
On the other hand, I wanted to go across to the exit opposite. There was an empty section of the roundabout ahead of me marked Keep Clear, presumably for this very scenario. As no cars were coming, I started off.
Suddenly this skinhead chav whizzes round from the right, screeches to a halt at the Keep Clear box (which is still empty 'cos I've barely moved) and starts swearing at me through his open passenger side window, across his girlfriend who's sitting in the passenger seat.
I smile (which I admit was done to incense him further) but gesture for him to go through (there's nowhere for him to go of course but I thought it might calm him down a bit) - no, he stays there and carries on shouting at me.
At least I think he was shouting. My windows were shut and there was classical music on the radio so I couldn't hear him. It was almost like watching a TV documentary. This man looked like a shaved baboon, baring his teeth and gnashing away - goodness knows what he was saying but I don't think it was complimentary; I can't lipread very well, but I think he might've said something about wanting a banana...
He ranted on for about 20 seconds.
His girlfriend was looking pretty unimpressed already...
and then he spat at my car...
which was quite a way away from his...
so most of it went over her!
I'm trying to imagine the conversation they must've had as he drove off...
Thursday, 18 October 2007
I like trouser pockets.
I always have a lot of stuff in mine.
But yesterday they were so full, I was limping - so I emptied them properly for the first time in weeks.
And I found:
- (only) 76p in change
- a biro from a medical rep
(for a drug that I will never use because the pen was rubbish)
- keys for my car & new flat
- keys for rented removal van
- keys for moving-out-of old flat
- keys for a friend's flat (in case I need somewhere to stay mid-move)
- keys for mum & dad's house (my copy)
- keys for mum's car, on her key-ring the size of a bracelet
(& her set of house keys)
- mobile phone (covered in scratches, no idea how they got there...)
- a small hole
- a tube of men's facial scrub
(bought earlier when getting hair cut, not a permanent pocket resident)
- pad of post-it notes covered in random guff, including
- email addresses
- numerous laughably outlandish, surreal or woefully inaccurate sketched designs for new flat
- a policewoman's phone number (not in a good way, sadly)
- list of people I must must ring before last week
(none of whom I have rung yet)
- lyrics to a song (...in Swahili)
- my wallet, containing:
- driving licence
- credit card, debit card, Oystercard, (Bodyshop card...)
- photos of two ex-gf's (now replaced with guitar plectrum*)
- photo of me with long hair
(often used to prove a point in pub conversations)
- $228 US dollars
- 50 Kenyan Shillings
- 1000 Tanzanian Shillings
- 10 South African Rand
- 1000 Mozambican Meticais
- 10 Swaziland Lilangeni
- 30 Euros
- £0.
- £11 of Blacks vouchers (worth more than all the African money put together... and only slightly less than the dollars at current exchange rate!)
So had I been mugged, they would've got a reasonable amount off me but would've needed a Bureau de Change before they could make any use of it.
Or else a camping shop.
And they could've got into 4 properties & 3 vehicles... so hooray for being lucky enough to not get mugged in London.
I ought to wash those trousers anyway...
* Real guitar plectrum obviously. Not a photo.
I always have a lot of stuff in mine.
But yesterday they were so full, I was limping - so I emptied them properly for the first time in weeks.
And I found:
- (only) 76p in change
- a biro from a medical rep
(for a drug that I will never use because the pen was rubbish)
- keys for my car & new flat
- keys for rented removal van
- keys for moving-out-of old flat
- keys for a friend's flat (in case I need somewhere to stay mid-move)
- keys for mum & dad's house (my copy)
- keys for mum's car, on her key-ring the size of a bracelet
(& her set of house keys)
- mobile phone (covered in scratches, no idea how they got there...)
- a small hole
- a tube of men's facial scrub
(bought earlier when getting hair cut, not a permanent pocket resident)
- pad of post-it notes covered in random guff, including
- email addresses
- numerous laughably outlandish, surreal or woefully inaccurate sketched designs for new flat
- a policewoman's phone number (not in a good way, sadly)
- list of people I must must ring before last week
(none of whom I have rung yet)
- lyrics to a song (...in Swahili)
- my wallet, containing:
- driving licence
- credit card, debit card, Oystercard, (Bodyshop card...)
- photos of two ex-gf's (now replaced with guitar plectrum*)
- photo of me with long hair
(often used to prove a point in pub conversations)
- $228 US dollars
- 50 Kenyan Shillings
- 1000 Tanzanian Shillings
- 10 South African Rand
- 1000 Mozambican Meticais
- 10 Swaziland Lilangeni
- 30 Euros
- £0.
- £11 of Blacks vouchers (worth more than all the African money put together... and only slightly less than the dollars at current exchange rate!)
So had I been mugged, they would've got a reasonable amount off me but would've needed a Bureau de Change before they could make any use of it.
Or else a camping shop.
And they could've got into 4 properties & 3 vehicles... so hooray for being lucky enough to not get mugged in London.
I ought to wash those trousers anyway...
* Real guitar plectrum obviously. Not a photo.
Friday, 12 October 2007
Ok, so I was in a bit of a mood yesterday.
Sorry folks... the pills are kicking in now...
After someone's helpful comment, I discovered that Virgin were doing a far better offer, so I rang BT to cancel what I'd just arranged with them.
Given that I was leaving them, I was expecting to be a low priority call and to be kept on hold a lot. But good business sense or not, they were really taking the piss.
First I ended up in some kind of loop:
- Statement A: "You can organise your account online at www...."
- (music)
- Statement B
- (music)
- Statement A again
-... etc
After 7 or 8 minutes of this I got fed up (as I assume they wanted me to) so hung up & tried again.
This time I purposefully rang the wrong departments; I figured then I'd speak to a real person sooner.
Real person #1 said he'd put me through to the "correct department" - it was a different pre-recorded loop. Bastard.
Real person #2 was a techie in an Indian call centre; he insisted on putting me on hold for 3-4 minutes at a time while he talked to his colleague to give him details of my account... and yet refused to hand me over to his colleague so that I could give him the details myself. Odd... almost like he was taking ages on purpose...
After 15 minutes of this, I talk to Real person #3, a bloke with an East-End gangster accent who told me I didn't want to leave BT now, did I? Sounded really quite intimidating.
Eventually he gave in trying to convince me and put me on hold for a further full ten minutes before finally picking back up and saying it was all sorted, the account was cancelled. Phew!
Three quarters of an hour it took me to leave BT.
I'm sure it didn't need to take them so long.
Bet it doesn't take anywhere near as long to get customers to join BT...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other news, Orange have changed the voice of their automated system. Gone is the stern, older lady who sounds like a strict school mistress; she's been replaced by a sexier-sounding younger woman.
I swear, that computer was flirting with me...
Sorry folks... the pills are kicking in now...
After someone's helpful comment, I discovered that Virgin were doing a far better offer, so I rang BT to cancel what I'd just arranged with them.
Given that I was leaving them, I was expecting to be a low priority call and to be kept on hold a lot. But good business sense or not, they were really taking the piss.
First I ended up in some kind of loop:
- Statement A: "You can organise your account online at www...."
- (music)
- Statement B
- (music)
- Statement A again
-
After 7 or 8 minutes of this I got fed up (as I assume they wanted me to) so hung up & tried again.
This time I purposefully rang the wrong departments; I figured then I'd speak to a real person sooner.
Real person #1 said he'd put me through to the "correct department" - it was a different pre-recorded loop. Bastard.
Real person #2 was a techie in an Indian call centre; he insisted on putting me on hold for 3-4 minutes at a time while he talked to his colleague to give him details of my account... and yet refused to hand me over to his colleague so that I could give him the details myself. Odd... almost like he was taking ages on purpose...
After 15 minutes of this, I talk to Real person #3, a bloke with an East-End gangster accent who told me I didn't want to leave BT now, did I? Sounded really quite intimidating.
Eventually he gave in trying to convince me and put me on hold for a further full ten minutes before finally picking back up and saying it was all sorted, the account was cancelled. Phew!
Three quarters of an hour it took me to leave BT.
I'm sure it didn't need to take them so long.
Bet it doesn't take anywhere near as long to get customers to join BT...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other news, Orange have changed the voice of their automated system. Gone is the stern, older lady who sounds like a strict school mistress; she's been replaced by a sexier-sounding younger woman.
I swear, that computer was flirting with me...
Thursday, 11 October 2007
Start with positive things:
OK, I suppose it is nice to be back in the UK & see my family again & to not be at work for three more weeks.
But that's it for the positive...
I am so totally fed-up right now & it's only going to get worse.
It's frustrating enough to have to ring a call centre.
But to have to ring ALL of them? It'd drive you mad.
I'm in the process of moving house & I like to be organised (or at least to give it a go).
I'm trying to get things like broadband connection & council tax & utilities & everything else sorted out soon. But that's not going to happen, oh no.
Everyone's a bastard. It's all about long-term contracts & one-off fees & paperwork.
eg Orange won't provide broadband unless I upgrade my mobile account & already have a BT landline; but BT won't provide a landline unless I take out some kind of 12-month package with them; and they're saying it'll cost £125 just to reconnect because my stupid vanishing ex-tenant (without asking me) swapped the lines over to NTL(now defunct).
And repeat.
eg Council can't give me a parking permit until I have proof of address; can't have proof of address for 2 weeks because of postal strike & the time taken to send out new bills.
And it goes on & on & on.
Coupled with frustrating/upsetting personal issues, plus the fact that I don't even HAVE a new address (oh, did I forget to mention that, my new flat doesn't have any floors; just bare concrete all over - the workmen are working though (if you count sitting on your ass & smoking incessantly as "work"); and I also need to decide on the layout & colours of the kitchen & bathroom - I don't bloody know, I'm a bloke).
Gah! Grrrr! Nnnnng!
And of course there's packing, & moving house...
Studies show that moving house is the single most stressful thing you can experience besides death of a loved one.
Meh... s'pose I shouldn't grumble.
It could all be much worse.
OK, I suppose it is nice to be back in the UK & see my family again & to not be at work for three more weeks.
But that's it for the positive...
I am so totally fed-up right now & it's only going to get worse.
It's frustrating enough to have to ring a call centre.
But to have to ring ALL of them? It'd drive you mad.
I'm in the process of moving house & I like to be organised (or at least to give it a go).
I'm trying to get things like broadband connection & council tax & utilities & everything else sorted out soon. But that's not going to happen, oh no.
Everyone's a bastard. It's all about long-term contracts & one-off fees & paperwork.
eg Orange won't provide broadband unless I upgrade my mobile account & already have a BT landline; but BT won't provide a landline unless I take out some kind of 12-month package with them; and they're saying it'll cost £125 just to reconnect because my stupid vanishing ex-tenant (without asking me) swapped the lines over to NTL(now defunct).
And repeat.
eg Council can't give me a parking permit until I have proof of address; can't have proof of address for 2 weeks because of postal strike & the time taken to send out new bills.
And it goes on & on & on.
Coupled with frustrating/upsetting personal issues, plus the fact that I don't even HAVE a new address (oh, did I forget to mention that, my new flat doesn't have any floors; just bare concrete all over - the workmen are working though (if you count sitting on your ass & smoking incessantly as "work"); and I also need to decide on the layout & colours of the kitchen & bathroom - I don't bloody know, I'm a bloke).
Gah! Grrrr! Nnnnng!
And of course there's packing, & moving house...
Studies show that moving house is the single most stressful thing you can experience besides death of a loved one.
Meh... s'pose I shouldn't grumble.
It could all be much worse.
Wednesday, 3 October 2007
Friday, 28 September 2007
...was not a theme park.
I was MOST disappointed.
-----------------------------------------------
Well, I'm STILL in Africa...
So far I've done:
-Kenya (where I jumped with Masai warriors),
-Tanzania (including Zanzibar)
-Mozambique (where it rained almost continuously - although I ate the best seafood I have ever tasted in my life),
-Swaziland (where the King gets another new wife every year)
And now I'm taking my minor illnesses around South Africa (cough, cold, eye infection, etc).
After the busload of students, my new tour group consists of:
- me
- a married couple
and
that's it! Ho hum... Still, they're great fun - Aussies!
I'm all safari'd out.
I've seen The Big Five (Lion, Leopard, Buffalo, Elephant & Rhino) but only eaten one (so far).
And there's a week to go! I'm really looking forward to coming home, but still left on the itinerary before arriving in Cape Town are:
an ostrich farm,
an elephant sanctuary,
Birds of Eden,
and Monkeyland
(which had better be a theme park...)
I was MOST disappointed.
-----------------------------------------------
Well, I'm STILL in Africa...
So far I've done:
-Kenya (where I jumped with Masai warriors),
-Tanzania (including Zanzibar)
-Mozambique (where it rained almost continuously - although I ate the best seafood I have ever tasted in my life),
-Swaziland (where the King gets another new wife every year)
And now I'm taking my minor illnesses around South Africa (cough, cold, eye infection, etc).
After the busload of students, my new tour group consists of:
- me
- a married couple
and
that's it! Ho hum... Still, they're great fun - Aussies!
I'm all safari'd out.
I've seen The Big Five (Lion, Leopard, Buffalo, Elephant & Rhino) but only eaten one (so far).
And there's a week to go! I'm really looking forward to coming home, but still left on the itinerary before arriving in Cape Town are:
an ostrich farm,
an elephant sanctuary,
Birds of Eden,
and Monkeyland
(which had better be a theme park...)
Wednesday, 19 September 2007
If I don't make it to old age and die of natural causes, then I'm probably going to drown to death.
I can swim to save my life... but I'd prefer it if it didn't to come to that.
I've been snorkelling once before. It wasn't difficult.
So yesterday I jumped off the boat into the choppy waters of the Indian Ocean and was surprised to find I couldn't snorkel any more.
Instead I inhaled lungfulls of ocean. I'm not really designed for breathing underwater. If my nose is blocked (say, by a snorkelling mask) my natural instinct is to try & breathe in much harder until something gets into my lungs through my nose. In this case, lots of saltwater.
Despite being a singer, I'm actually quite bad at controlling my breathing. Which is why I am physically unable to smoke (even though it's cool & attracts the girls) - I just don't have the co-ordination.
I just couldn't overcome this whole breathing thing AND swim at the same time (I am only human after all) so I shamefully got back into the boat.
We went to much calmer waters a little later on, and there I could do it fine.
(Maybe it was 'cos I was wearing a life vest, I don't know)
First I hyperventilated.
Then I breathed liked Darth Vader with a head cold.
Then I sounded like a failed wean on ITU.
And finally, eventually, I was breathing normally.
So normally in fact that I couldn't hear myself breathing.
Because I'd stopped breathing.
Deep breath, glug glug glug, koff koff koff.
But after that setback, I got the hang of it pretty well. There were bazillions of fish, amazing colours, just indescribably beautiful. I just hung there as they swam around me. It was incredible.
After what seemed like hours, I eventually looked up, to find the boat & everyone else.
Gone.
I nearly pooed myself.
I have no sense of direction at the best of times. But thankfully, I was just facing the wrong way! Phew!
Saw a family of dolphins on the ride home too. Excellent!
So the trip's now going much better. I've found a few normal people to talk to, I've played football & volleyball (in Italian for some reason) and won the Karaoke competition last night.
I've had a really relaxing week. And it only cost the same as a week's camping!
Back on the truck in a few days - next stop South Africa!
Laters
-S-
I can swim to save my life... but I'd prefer it if it didn't to come to that.
I've been snorkelling once before. It wasn't difficult.
So yesterday I jumped off the boat into the choppy waters of the Indian Ocean and was surprised to find I couldn't snorkel any more.
Instead I inhaled lungfulls of ocean. I'm not really designed for breathing underwater. If my nose is blocked (say, by a snorkelling mask) my natural instinct is to try & breathe in much harder until something gets into my lungs through my nose. In this case, lots of saltwater.
Despite being a singer, I'm actually quite bad at controlling my breathing. Which is why I am physically unable to smoke (even though it's cool & attracts the girls) - I just don't have the co-ordination.
I just couldn't overcome this whole breathing thing AND swim at the same time (I am only human after all) so I shamefully got back into the boat.
We went to much calmer waters a little later on, and there I could do it fine.
(Maybe it was 'cos I was wearing a life vest, I don't know)
First I hyperventilated.
Then I breathed liked Darth Vader with a head cold.
Then I sounded like a failed wean on ITU.
And finally, eventually, I was breathing normally.
So normally in fact that I couldn't hear myself breathing.
Because I'd stopped breathing.
Deep breath, glug glug glug, koff koff koff.
But after that setback, I got the hang of it pretty well. There were bazillions of fish, amazing colours, just indescribably beautiful. I just hung there as they swam around me. It was incredible.
After what seemed like hours, I eventually looked up, to find the boat & everyone else.
Gone.
I nearly pooed myself.
I have no sense of direction at the best of times. But thankfully, I was just facing the wrong way! Phew!
Saw a family of dolphins on the ride home too. Excellent!
So the trip's now going much better. I've found a few normal people to talk to, I've played football & volleyball (in Italian for some reason) and won the Karaoke competition last night.
I've had a really relaxing week. And it only cost the same as a week's camping!
Back on the truck in a few days - next stop South Africa!
Laters
-S-
Friday, 14 September 2007
I'm on holiday in Africa and it's all going very well.
I've seen lions shagging on safari, nearly had my lunch pulled out of my hand by a vulture, handled a over-friendly boa constrictor and haggled eager shopkeepers into selling me their tat at a financial loss.
I've seen some of my friends develop comical sunburn patterns and I myself have got mosquito braille all over my ankles and my face has gone dark enough for me to be mistaken for a local ethnic.
The last two weeks have been spent mainly in campsites in Kenya & Tanganika (think up to 14 hours on a truck along dusty pot-holed roads, long-drop pit toilets, eating stew in the dark from metal plates and sleeping campsites with hyenas running through them).
In a few days time I'm starting another two week camping tour round South Africa (whose main claims to fame, everyone so kindly informs me, are gun crime, racial intolerance, and nice wine).
However, due to slight oversight on the parts of both my travel agent & myself, I'm spending this middle week in a luxury resort on the paradise island of Zanzibar. All food is included (you may recall that I see "All You Can Eat" as a personal challenge - Octopus is surprisingly filling); the experience is slightly spoiled by the waiters CONTINUOUSLY asking if I'm OK (I'm eating, of course I'm OK).
More importantly ALL drink is included (I am trying everything on the cocktail menu - have got to G so far and might not last the week)
To compensate for thisBacchin... Bachanae... pigging out, I've tried to participate in lots of sporting activities. However I usually need a short period of snake-like digestive sleep after each meal, so all I've really managed is AcquaGym & Water Polo - and I'm put to shame by the saggy old retired women (at least 2 of whom are called Beryl).
The rooms are amazing; the maids even sneak in while you're at dinner, and spray the room with mosquito repellent & fragrance & leave a creepy note saying "Sweet Dreams" on the pillow of the huge four-poster beds.
Everyone here is in couples. It would be an ideal place to bring your girlfriend/wife/husband/boyfriend (or combination of the above if so inclined).
But for that reason, I can't really properly hang out with anyone.
I do have the OHCM for company on the beach when it's quiet, but it's not the same as a real person...
And so, bizarrely, I find myself missing the students, travel agents & random foreigners that I was hanging out with on the truck... and look forward to meeting a new bunch in a few days.
I think I'll go drown my sorrows in the bar/pool.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes, the irony is not lost on me - I'm whinging about being on holiday at a fab sunny beach resort; feel free to remind me when I'm doing 6 months of Chronic Pain clinics or spending Xmas Day on call!
I've seen lions shagging on safari, nearly had my lunch pulled out of my hand by a vulture, handled a over-friendly boa constrictor and haggled eager shopkeepers into selling me their tat at a financial loss.
I've seen some of my friends develop comical sunburn patterns and I myself have got mosquito braille all over my ankles and my face has gone dark enough for me to be mistaken for a local ethnic.
The last two weeks have been spent mainly in campsites in Kenya & Tanganika (think up to 14 hours on a truck along dusty pot-holed roads, long-drop pit toilets, eating stew in the dark from metal plates and sleeping campsites with hyenas running through them).
In a few days time I'm starting another two week camping tour round South Africa (whose main claims to fame, everyone so kindly informs me, are gun crime, racial intolerance, and nice wine).
However, due to slight oversight on the parts of both my travel agent & myself, I'm spending this middle week in a luxury resort on the paradise island of Zanzibar. All food is included (you may recall that I see "All You Can Eat" as a personal challenge - Octopus is surprisingly filling); the experience is slightly spoiled by the waiters CONTINUOUSLY asking if I'm OK (I'm eating, of course I'm OK).
More importantly ALL drink is included (I am trying everything on the cocktail menu - have got to G so far and might not last the week)
To compensate for this
The rooms are amazing; the maids even sneak in while you're at dinner, and spray the room with mosquito repellent & fragrance & leave a creepy note saying "Sweet Dreams" on the pillow of the huge four-poster beds.
Everyone here is in couples. It would be an ideal place to bring your girlfriend/wife/husband/boyfriend (or combination of the above if so inclined).
But for that reason, I can't really properly hang out with anyone.
I do have the OHCM for company on the beach when it's quiet, but it's not the same as a real person...
And so, bizarrely, I find myself missing the students, travel agents & random foreigners that I was hanging out with on the truck... and look forward to meeting a new bunch in a few days.
I think I'll go drown my sorrows in the bar/pool.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes, the irony is not lost on me - I'm whinging about being on holiday at a fab sunny beach resort; feel free to remind me when I'm doing 6 months of Chronic Pain clinics or spending Xmas Day on call!
Tuesday, 11 September 2007
Thursday, 30 August 2007
That is the advice given in my guide to travelling round Africa:
"Do not joke with Immigration officials".
I'm flying out tomorrow. I'm going for 5 weeks.
And yet I've only just started reading the guide. Well done me.
I really should be packing right now. Or sleeping.
But no, I'm blogging. Silly, silly, silly.
Then again I probably won't update this blog more than a couple of times in the next few weeks. It's nothing personal, I just don't think there are many Internet Cafes open in the Serengeti (I assume - I haven't seen many zebras on Facebook but they probably hide their profiles to avoid being stalked).
I reckon I will have lots to say when I get back though.
Such as
- it's difficult to sleep in a tent knowing there are lions roaming outside. Or:
- ten things I could've brought with me which would've been more useful than the book Salmon Fishing In The Yemen. Or:
- what use is being a doctor if you don't have any medical equipment with you (actually, half my luggage will be simple medical supplies, just in case... well, I don't want to look silly.)
Enjoy working/studying everyone - I'm gonna have a great holiday!
(seeing as I've emptied my ISA to pay for it!)
Chat soon
-S-
"Do not joke with Immigration officials".
I'm flying out tomorrow. I'm going for 5 weeks.
And yet I've only just started reading the guide. Well done me.
I really should be packing right now. Or sleeping.
But no, I'm blogging. Silly, silly, silly.
Then again I probably won't update this blog more than a couple of times in the next few weeks. It's nothing personal, I just don't think there are many Internet Cafes open in the Serengeti (I assume - I haven't seen many zebras on Facebook but they probably hide their profiles to avoid being stalked).
I reckon I will have lots to say when I get back though.
Such as
- it's difficult to sleep in a tent knowing there are lions roaming outside. Or:
- ten things I could've brought with me which would've been more useful than the book Salmon Fishing In The Yemen. Or:
- what use is being a doctor if you don't have any medical equipment with you (actually, half my luggage will be simple medical supplies, just in case... well, I don't want to look silly.)
Enjoy working/studying everyone - I'm gonna have a great holiday!
(seeing as I've emptied my ISA to pay for it!)
Chat soon
-S-
Friday, 24 August 2007
Well lookee here...
I got interviewed!
http://london.fridaycities.com/radar/2007/8/23/fridaycities-meets-suman-biswas
Handsome photos too...
I got interviewed!
http://london.fridaycities.com/radar/2007/8/23/fridaycities-meets-suman-biswas
Handsome photos too...
Tuesday, 21 August 2007
So...
After some massive technical problems from the suppliers of the DVD
(the first batch had to be destroyed - they were like rabid dogs but more dangerous & unpredictable), the DVDs of The Black and White Menstrual Show have finally started to be posted out.
Some of you lucky ones have already received yours, others will get them in the next few days. However you poor buggers who live abroad will still have to wait for the monthly steam-ship to make it to your distant, unBritish shores. Serves you right - move to London.
I'm sorry for the delay. And the communications breakdown.
Let me make it up to you.
On YouTube, there are now ELEVEN songs from the DVD that you can download and watch, albeit in lower quality.
What's the point of buying the DVD then, you might ask? Well there are still LOTS of other songs, old and new, not on YouTube. Including dozens of Snippets...
You can't wait can you...
Here you go - Amateur Transplants Live on YouTube.
Enjoy
-S-
After some massive technical problems from the suppliers of the DVD
(the first batch had to be destroyed - they were like rabid dogs but more dangerous & unpredictable), the DVDs of The Black and White Menstrual Show have finally started to be posted out.
Some of you lucky ones have already received yours, others will get them in the next few days. However you poor buggers who live abroad will still have to wait for the monthly steam-ship to make it to your distant, unBritish shores. Serves you right - move to London.
I'm sorry for the delay. And the communications breakdown.
Let me make it up to you.
On YouTube, there are now ELEVEN songs from the DVD that you can download and watch, albeit in lower quality.
What's the point of buying the DVD then, you might ask? Well there are still LOTS of other songs, old and new, not on YouTube. Including dozens of Snippets...
You can't wait can you...
Here you go - Amateur Transplants Live on YouTube.
Enjoy
-S-
Wednesday, 15 August 2007
Here's another new song, taken from the Amateur Transplants DVD:
The New Man Song
(Why does nobody love me?)
The New Man Song
(Why does nobody love me?)
Tuesday, 14 August 2007
As promised for ages, here's some completely new Amateur Transplants material!
Very excited to actually be on youtube myself (rather than being mimed over by weirdos or strange photos)
Beautiful Song
Discuss.
(From the DVD - more coming soon)
Very excited to actually be on youtube myself (rather than being mimed over by weirdos or strange photos)
Beautiful Song
Discuss.
(From the DVD - more coming soon)
Friday, 10 August 2007
The Black & White Menstrual Show is now available to buy, watch & love.
Full of classics from Fitness To Practice, as well as songs from the forthcoming new CD Unfit to Practice and songs that should never have been performed in the first place, the 90-minute DVD has been professionally recorded, edited & packaged by a... professional.
Buy several now. NOW dammit!
http://www.fridaytowers.com/fitness/dvd.php
Full of classics from Fitness To Practice, as well as songs from the forthcoming new CD Unfit to Practice and songs that should never have been performed in the first place, the 90-minute DVD has been professionally recorded, edited & packaged by a... professional.
Buy several now. NOW dammit!
http://www.fridaytowers.com/fitness/dvd.php
At last... I can use my computer again.
My new monitor arrived this morning - it's not that I ordered it ages ago but the opposite - I kept putting it off 'cos I haven't been home much. I only chose one last night and I ordered it about 7pm (thanks eBuyer - bloody good service!)
So now I can see what's on my screen again without developing terrible headaches.
I've been away using my time off for various things (time off following a 90-hour week mind you - I'm not a skiver, I often don't get weekends off, etc).
Went to a friend's wedding which was great fun. We were waiting for the couple at the reception - suddenly the door flew open; there stood the groom proudly in hisskirt kilt, his longish hair blowing in the wind, with his new wife next to him in her beautiful bridal dress, bouncing up & down, deliriously happy. Awww... It was a good night - first ceilidh dancing & then rocking out with proper cheesy disco. Exhausting though. How do bridesmaids have so much energy?
And I've carted my digital piano off to a few places (I'm really glad I chose a light one!) Played for some friends in what may have been the oddest venue of my life (so far) - a curry house. The other diners were... surprised to say the least. The curry house owners were just proud to have met a talented Bengali and tried to marry me off to one of their relations... As did the bloke in the kebab shop a week previously. Meh - leave me alone!
Also played for a huge international medical students' conference - it all went surprisingly well, given that a significant proportion of the audience didn't have English as a first language! Plus it was quite amusing watching their faces fall when I did rude songs and they slowly twigged one by one what was going on!
The Amateur Transplants DVD is out this week; and we will record the next CD soon and hopefully have it out in time for Xmas.
I'm back at work after the weekend, then travelling somewhere in September (as yet undecided - I still haven't found any charity/expedition work, so I'm tempted to just go on safari or something instead). I move house in October & start the new job in November.
So really, just about everything's sorted. That's nice.
Which is handy, given that the world has just crashed down around my ears...
My new monitor arrived this morning - it's not that I ordered it ages ago but the opposite - I kept putting it off 'cos I haven't been home much. I only chose one last night and I ordered it about 7pm (thanks eBuyer - bloody good service!)
So now I can see what's on my screen again without developing terrible headaches.
I've been away using my time off for various things (time off following a 90-hour week mind you - I'm not a skiver, I often don't get weekends off, etc).
Went to a friend's wedding which was great fun. We were waiting for the couple at the reception - suddenly the door flew open; there stood the groom proudly in his
And I've carted my digital piano off to a few places (I'm really glad I chose a light one!) Played for some friends in what may have been the oddest venue of my life (so far) - a curry house. The other diners were... surprised to say the least. The curry house owners were just proud to have met a talented Bengali and tried to marry me off to one of their relations... As did the bloke in the kebab shop a week previously. Meh - leave me alone!
Also played for a huge international medical students' conference - it all went surprisingly well, given that a significant proportion of the audience didn't have English as a first language! Plus it was quite amusing watching their faces fall when I did rude songs and they slowly twigged one by one what was going on!
The Amateur Transplants DVD is out this week; and we will record the next CD soon and hopefully have it out in time for Xmas.
I'm back at work after the weekend, then travelling somewhere in September (as yet undecided - I still haven't found any charity/expedition work, so I'm tempted to just go on safari or something instead). I move house in October & start the new job in November.
So really, just about everything's sorted. That's nice.
Which is handy, given that the world has just crashed down around my ears...
Thursday, 2 August 2007
TRUE STORY*
A young lady in the maternity ward, just prior to labor, is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.
"I'm afraid I don't have a husband," she replies.
"O.K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife.
"No, no boyfriend either."
"Do you have a partner then?"
"No, I'm unattached, I'll be having the baby on my own."
After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman.
"You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black."
"Well," replies the girl, "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a Porno movie. The lead man was black."
"Oh," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair."
"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see I desperately needed the money and there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby has narrow eyes."
"Well yes," continues the girl, "I was incredibly hard up and there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."
At this the midwife again apologizes collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the rear. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims, "Well thank God for that!"
"What do you mean?!" says the midwife, shocked.
"Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that she was going to bark."
* not a true story
A young lady in the maternity ward, just prior to labor, is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.
"I'm afraid I don't have a husband," she replies.
"O.K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife.
"No, no boyfriend either."
"Do you have a partner then?"
"No, I'm unattached, I'll be having the baby on my own."
After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman.
"You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black."
"Well," replies the girl, "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a Porno movie. The lead man was black."
"Oh," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair."
"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see I desperately needed the money and there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby has narrow eyes."
"Well yes," continues the girl, "I was incredibly hard up and there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."
At this the midwife again apologizes collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the rear. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims, "Well thank God for that!"
"What do you mean?!" says the midwife, shocked.
"Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that she was going to bark."
* not a true story
Monday, 30 July 2007
a.k.a. "Water Water Everywhere But Not A Drop To Drink"
Day 11 of the water crisis around here.
Many parts of the UK were drowned in the rain & ensuing flooding that started a couple of weeks ago.
My local water purification plant was flooded so any tap water would have been contaminated.
So it was announced that the water was going to be switched of very soon, so everyone filled their baths, buckets, etc so they'd have stuff to wash with or flush the loo.
Thing is, I had been away for a few days and got back home to go straight out to work again, so I returned the next morning from the night shift to find there was no water full stop.
This posed a problem.
Particularly the first time I forgot and used the loo as normal. (Only a number one luckily)
I didn't have any spare water, so, begrudgingly, I tipped my one bottle of mineral water down the loo. And nothing happened.
You see, I'd recently had a bit of a clean-up and chucked a load of tisues & kitchen roll in the loo, to be flushed next time I went. Bad timing, it turns out.
So I thought to myself, what else can I use to flush the loo. I went to the kitchen & discovered a nearly full bottle of Asda cherryade that no-one else had wanted after the last BBQ. Brilliant. Straight into the pan it went.
Now here's an experiment you can try at home - it appears that aforementioned cherryade reacts a bit with urine. And fizzes quite a lot when you pour it from a height, Tom-Cruise-in-Cocktail-style.
The red liquid frothed up and up in the bowl, with tissues floating atop the sickly sweet-smelling scarlet bubbles like rafts. It very, VERY, nearly spilled over the side (while I was shouting that No NO thing people do when pouring a drink - I was that close to sipping just to stop it overflowing...)
Thankfully, the tide came down to leave a few inches of froth & tissue mulch. I closed the door & haven't been back into that bathroom since!
Straight to supermarket to get bottled water - none left.
So I was in a predicament... but luckily I live next door to a hospital... They must have water in a hospital, surely?
TO BE CONTINUED...
Day 11 of the water crisis around here.
Many parts of the UK were drowned in the rain & ensuing flooding that started a couple of weeks ago.
My local water purification plant was flooded so any tap water would have been contaminated.
So it was announced that the water was going to be switched of very soon, so everyone filled their baths, buckets, etc so they'd have stuff to wash with or flush the loo.
Thing is, I had been away for a few days and got back home to go straight out to work again, so I returned the next morning from the night shift to find there was no water full stop.
This posed a problem.
Particularly the first time I forgot and used the loo as normal. (Only a number one luckily)
I didn't have any spare water, so, begrudgingly, I tipped my one bottle of mineral water down the loo. And nothing happened.
You see, I'd recently had a bit of a clean-up and chucked a load of tisues & kitchen roll in the loo, to be flushed next time I went. Bad timing, it turns out.
So I thought to myself, what else can I use to flush the loo. I went to the kitchen & discovered a nearly full bottle of Asda cherryade that no-one else had wanted after the last BBQ. Brilliant. Straight into the pan it went.
Now here's an experiment you can try at home - it appears that aforementioned cherryade reacts a bit with urine. And fizzes quite a lot when you pour it from a height, Tom-Cruise-in-Cocktail-style.
The red liquid frothed up and up in the bowl, with tissues floating atop the sickly sweet-smelling scarlet bubbles like rafts. It very, VERY, nearly spilled over the side (while I was shouting that No NO thing people do when pouring a drink - I was that close to sipping just to stop it overflowing...)
Thankfully, the tide came down to leave a few inches of froth & tissue mulch. I closed the door & haven't been back into that bathroom since!
Straight to supermarket to get bottled water - none left.
So I was in a predicament... but luckily I live next door to a hospital... They must have water in a hospital, surely?
TO BE CONTINUED...
Saturday, 21 July 2007
Coo, it's a bit wet out...
I drove most of the way back from London without a hitch. Then I got to a flooded bit.
Traffic wasn't even crawling. People were parked. It took me over an hour to travel a mile and a half. I had to get home soon. I was starting a night shift in a few hours and I wanted a power nap before. At this rate I might not even get to work on time.
Was I stressed?
Hell no. I fished out my copy of Harry Potter from the boot and read a few chapters, inching the car forwards every minute or so. Lovely. Only spoilt by people in the other lane constantly shouting out asking if it was any good.
The eagerly awaited sequel to "Harry Potter & The Half-Price Blood" (or whatever) came out at midnight yesterday. Fans had been queueing for ages, days even.
er...why? I wandered into Tesco's at 1am and they had a mountain of copies & no queue.
I wandered out again though 'cos they were charging full price. Silly buggers - who's going to pay 18 quid when Asda down the road were doing it for a fiver?! I ask you...
The author, JR Hartley (or whatever), has let it known that two major characters die in the book. It's kinda obvious who it has to be, but I'm hoping she'll surprise me. Incidentally, she hasn't mentioned that a number of other less important characters die...
As for the plot - well, I'm going into hiding for a week. Normally, I barely watch any telly, instead I read dozens of blogs. But I can't take the risk now - someone's going to give it away. I can feel it.
For the previous book, I saw a youtube vid of people who drove past the queues of eager Harry Potter fans outside bookstores and used a megaphone to announce "******* dies" before driving off giggling; twistedly funny but inherently evil. Think of the children.
No, I'm not going to take any chances. I'll miss it, but I'm just going to have to avoid surfing the webnet for a bit.
(I will post in the meantime, but with my eyes half shut in case I see some Internet out of the corner of my eye.)
Right back to... er... work... (or whatever)
******* = Dumbledore. Oh sorry, I thought everyone knew.
I drove most of the way back from London without a hitch. Then I got to a flooded bit.
Traffic wasn't even crawling. People were parked. It took me over an hour to travel a mile and a half. I had to get home soon. I was starting a night shift in a few hours and I wanted a power nap before. At this rate I might not even get to work on time.
Was I stressed?
Hell no. I fished out my copy of Harry Potter from the boot and read a few chapters, inching the car forwards every minute or so. Lovely. Only spoilt by people in the other lane constantly shouting out asking if it was any good.
The eagerly awaited sequel to "Harry Potter & The Half-Price Blood" (or whatever) came out at midnight yesterday. Fans had been queueing for ages, days even.
er...why? I wandered into Tesco's at 1am and they had a mountain of copies & no queue.
I wandered out again though 'cos they were charging full price. Silly buggers - who's going to pay 18 quid when Asda down the road were doing it for a fiver?! I ask you...
The author, JR Hartley (or whatever), has let it known that two major characters die in the book. It's kinda obvious who it has to be, but I'm hoping she'll surprise me. Incidentally, she hasn't mentioned that a number of other less important characters die...
As for the plot - well, I'm going into hiding for a week. Normally, I barely watch any telly, instead I read dozens of blogs. But I can't take the risk now - someone's going to give it away. I can feel it.
For the previous book, I saw a youtube vid of people who drove past the queues of eager Harry Potter fans outside bookstores and used a megaphone to announce "******* dies" before driving off giggling; twistedly funny but inherently evil. Think of the children.
No, I'm not going to take any chances. I'll miss it, but I'm just going to have to avoid surfing the webnet for a bit.
(I will post in the meantime, but with my eyes half shut in case I see some Internet out of the corner of my eye.)
Right back to... er... work... (or whatever)
******* = Dumbledore. Oh sorry, I thought everyone knew.
Wednesday, 18 July 2007
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?
A: To get to the same side.
I love geeky jokes - do you know any more?
A: To get to the same side.
I love geeky jokes - do you know any more?
Tuesday, 17 July 2007
In other news, I nearly got killed a moment ago.
Bombing back up the M40, I notice the truck in front of me, full of rubbish, is being buffetted around a lot by the wind.
Suddenly several large planks of wood suddenly getting picked up by the wind, fly out of the top of the lorry and head towards me (or rather I'm heading towards them) at 70-odd mph.
Next thing I am aware of is that, alarmingly, I'm not doing anything to avoid my impending wood-car collision. After all, at this split-second in time, there are chunks of wood apparently suspended in mid-air, in the lane directly ahead of me, and the lanes either side, just waiting for me to hit them.
Where could I go? No hope of braking in time. And I'm pretty sure that my car has never flown - although if I hit any of the debris the wrong way, it would be likely to lift the car up and maybe over.
It was like something out of an action film.
Particularly because a few seconds later I was out of the other side of this cloud of wood totally unhurt. Didn't even hit the car. Maybe air vortices, maybe divine intervention, I don't know, but somehow the dozen lumps of wood & I did not collide.
I felt shaken but very alive for the rest of the journey.
I got home, feeling that maybe, maybe, someone out there was looking out for me.
To find that some fucker had just nicked my bike.
Bombing back up the M40, I notice the truck in front of me, full of rubbish, is being buffetted around a lot by the wind.
Suddenly several large planks of wood suddenly getting picked up by the wind, fly out of the top of the lorry and head towards me (or rather I'm heading towards them) at 70-odd mph.
Next thing I am aware of is that, alarmingly, I'm not doing anything to avoid my impending wood-car collision. After all, at this split-second in time, there are chunks of wood apparently suspended in mid-air, in the lane directly ahead of me, and the lanes either side, just waiting for me to hit them.
Where could I go? No hope of braking in time. And I'm pretty sure that my car has never flown - although if I hit any of the debris the wrong way, it would be likely to lift the car up and maybe over.
It was like something out of an action film.
Particularly because a few seconds later I was out of the other side of this cloud of wood totally unhurt. Didn't even hit the car. Maybe air vortices, maybe divine intervention, I don't know, but somehow the dozen lumps of wood & I did not collide.
I felt shaken but very alive for the rest of the journey.
I got home, feeling that maybe, maybe, someone out there was looking out for me.
To find that some fucker had just nicked my bike.
I survived MMC!
My future employment status hung in the brink when I didn't get any interviews on the strength of my "application form"(a.k.a. Essay in Creative Writing & Jargon Shoehorning) in Round 1a. But when Round 1b was created so that everyone else got one sympathy interview, I got offered my top choice of job! Which was nice.
My deepest sympathies go out to the people who've been screwed over by the system. Some of my good friends are currently still jobless (with Round 2 already well underway) - no-one knows what's going to happen, but it appears that their current employers have a responsibility to help them out if they get nothing - ironically these doctors are probably highly skilled in the competitive specialties where there are very few jobs available - what a waste.
Other casualties include relationships - I know of several couples that have broken up because of it, including Hippychick & I. When do we get Patricia Hewitt's head on a spike?
But as for my job - thanks to a quirk of the rotas, my new job doesn't start til November, so it looks like I'll have September & October off (after I locum for a month).
What to do? It's the perfect time to go travelling, so I intend to spend most of September abroad.
Can't decide whether I should go on Safari, or go round Oz & New Zealand, or do some charity work somewhere for a few weeks.
No idea where to look - any suggestions?
My future employment status hung in the brink when I didn't get any interviews on the strength of my "application form"(a.k.a. Essay in Creative Writing & Jargon Shoehorning) in Round 1a. But when Round 1b was created so that everyone else got one sympathy interview, I got offered my top choice of job! Which was nice.
My deepest sympathies go out to the people who've been screwed over by the system. Some of my good friends are currently still jobless (with Round 2 already well underway) - no-one knows what's going to happen, but it appears that their current employers have a responsibility to help them out if they get nothing - ironically these doctors are probably highly skilled in the competitive specialties where there are very few jobs available - what a waste.
Other casualties include relationships - I know of several couples that have broken up because of it, including Hippychick & I. When do we get Patricia Hewitt's head on a spike?
But as for my job - thanks to a quirk of the rotas, my new job doesn't start til November, so it looks like I'll have September & October off (after I locum for a month).
What to do? It's the perfect time to go travelling, so I intend to spend most of September abroad.
Can't decide whether I should go on Safari, or go round Oz & New Zealand, or do some charity work somewhere for a few weeks.
No idea where to look - any suggestions?
Monday, 9 July 2007
Oh dear, I've fallen a bit behind with my blogging!
Here's what's been going on in the last week or so:
WEDDING - last weekend
Absolutely hilarious & great fun from start to finish!
The stag-do started out playing cricket on a beach, then visiting a beer festival & ended up with us being kicked out of a pub about 3am.
The next morning, the groom and best man were unable to be found until 2 hours after they were supposed to show up. Luckily all went well for the rest of the service which included:
- torrential rain
- a rather confused atheist elderly lady vicar
- a bride in a maternity dress & a groom with sweat dripping continuously from his forehead
- & an organist who, bored with Bach, started playing the theme tune to Grandstand instead
The reception was great - I was even allowed to do a few songs, which demonstrates how drunk everyone must have been...
AMATEUR TRANSPLANTS GIGS - last week
Two gigs at a three-hundred-seater theatre in Central London, sold out - everything went pretty well (apart from realising an hour before curtain that there was no way of connecting my digital piano to a sound system)
We got a good reaction from the whole audience (apart from one confused friend of ours who had assumed we would've changed our style in the last 5 years - silly boy).
The audience was a random mix of mostly non-medical people - schoolkids, grandparents, paramedics... in the bar afterwards, I met a convict on day-release who had to go back to jail after the gig, a girl who was in the Harry Potter films (no, not Hermione) and a friend of mine who had lost one leg since I last saw him (who...er... I drunkenly may have tried to push over... sorry mate!)
And of course there were some lovely ladies. One girl, describing herself as "Adam's biggest fan" and believing Adam to be the sexiest man alive, travelled over a hundred miles for the show; I'm telling you this because, entirely coincidentally, she happens to be profoundly hard of hearing and registered blind. No, genuinely.
All in all, the gigs were a lot of fun - test-ran lots of material for the new album - plus we made a video recording, so maybe one day there'll be an Amateur Transplants DVD... (or YouTube clips at the very least)!
To calm things down a bit - I did 2 shifts on ITU this weekend, with an unrehearsed band gig 3 hours drive away in between! Could've gone better - I badly injured my index finger beforehand (there's still a big chunk of skin missing), broke a bass guitar string & nearly fell asleep driving home afterwards (remember kids: don't sleep & drive)..
But now I've got a few days off... and I've got nothing to do*!
Bloody typical...
*nothing apart from getting ready to move house again, booking a holiday, rehearsing for band gigs, finding a charity to work for this summer, catching up with friends, getting some exercise, tidying my flat, writing new songs, etc ...
Here's what's been going on in the last week or so:
WEDDING - last weekend
Absolutely hilarious & great fun from start to finish!
The stag-do started out playing cricket on a beach, then visiting a beer festival & ended up with us being kicked out of a pub about 3am.
The next morning, the groom and best man were unable to be found until 2 hours after they were supposed to show up. Luckily all went well for the rest of the service which included:
- torrential rain
- a rather confused atheist elderly lady vicar
- a bride in a maternity dress & a groom with sweat dripping continuously from his forehead
- & an organist who, bored with Bach, started playing the theme tune to Grandstand instead
The reception was great - I was even allowed to do a few songs, which demonstrates how drunk everyone must have been...
AMATEUR TRANSPLANTS GIGS - last week
Two gigs at a three-hundred-seater theatre in Central London, sold out - everything went pretty well (apart from realising an hour before curtain that there was no way of connecting my digital piano to a sound system)
We got a good reaction from the whole audience (apart from one confused friend of ours who had assumed we would've changed our style in the last 5 years - silly boy).
The audience was a random mix of mostly non-medical people - schoolkids, grandparents, paramedics... in the bar afterwards, I met a convict on day-release who had to go back to jail after the gig, a girl who was in the Harry Potter films (no, not Hermione) and a friend of mine who had lost one leg since I last saw him (who...er... I drunkenly may have tried to push over... sorry mate!)
And of course there were some lovely ladies. One girl, describing herself as "Adam's biggest fan" and believing Adam to be the sexiest man alive, travelled over a hundred miles for the show; I'm telling you this because, entirely coincidentally, she happens to be profoundly hard of hearing and registered blind. No, genuinely.
All in all, the gigs were a lot of fun - test-ran lots of material for the new album - plus we made a video recording, so maybe one day there'll be an Amateur Transplants DVD... (or YouTube clips at the very least)!
To calm things down a bit - I did 2 shifts on ITU this weekend, with an unrehearsed band gig 3 hours drive away in between! Could've gone better - I badly injured my index finger beforehand (there's still a big chunk of skin missing), broke a bass guitar string & nearly fell asleep driving home afterwards (remember kids: don't sleep & drive)..
But now I've got a few days off... and I've got nothing to do*!
Bloody typical...
*nothing apart from getting ready to move house again, booking a holiday, rehearsing for band gigs, finding a charity to work for this summer, catching up with friends, getting some exercise, tidying my flat, writing new songs, etc ...
Friday, 6 July 2007
Sunday, 1 July 2007
Hmmm... my computer monitor seems to have had a stroke while I've been away this weekend.
Now only the middle third of the screen is working. Everything is stretched painfully tall & thin, with black on either side. I've had to shrink the screen down vertically as much as possible just to be able to read what's on it.
But now the working part of the screen is about the size of a mobile phone's, floating in a sea of black on the big monitor. I'm expecting its complete demise any moment now.
Can anyone recommend a decent (probably flatscreen) monitor I can replace it with?
(It's great having a blog sometimes)
-S-
Now only the middle third of the screen is working. Everything is stretched painfully tall & thin, with black on either side. I've had to shrink the screen down vertically as much as possible just to be able to read what's on it.
But now the working part of the screen is about the size of a mobile phone's, floating in a sea of black on the big monitor. I'm expecting its complete demise any moment now.
Can anyone recommend a decent (probably flatscreen) monitor I can replace it with?
(It's great having a blog sometimes)
-S-
Friday, 29 June 2007
It's gonna be an odd weekend.
One of my best friends is getting married.
It's his stag-do today (my first ever proper stag-do) - so of course, we are going to destroy him. Then it's the wedding tomorrow!
They're holding it in the arse-end of nowhere (fiancee's home village) so I'm guaranteed to get lost between the venue, the pub, my hotel, etc...
Bit stressed because he wants me to play at the reception tomorrow.
I want to do nice songs... but I they're boring - I've given up on the Baywatch theme and now learning some Kaiser Chiefs, The Feeling, The Turtles (60s band, not Teenage Mutant variety)...
And of course, I have been asked to do some of the medical/comedy ones. A wedding. Yikes...
Plus he has a bearded chemistry teacher as a best man.
There is a high likelihood of disaster.
Tch - what am I worried about, what could possibly go wrong...?
One of my best friends is getting married.
It's his stag-do today (my first ever proper stag-do) - so of course, we are going to destroy him. Then it's the wedding tomorrow!
They're holding it in the arse-end of nowhere (fiancee's home village) so I'm guaranteed to get lost between the venue, the pub, my hotel, etc...
Bit stressed because he wants me to play at the reception tomorrow.
I want to do nice songs... but I they're boring - I've given up on the Baywatch theme and now learning some Kaiser Chiefs, The Feeling, The Turtles (60s band, not Teenage Mutant variety)...
And of course, I have been asked to do some of the medical/comedy ones. A wedding. Yikes...
Plus he has a bearded chemistry teacher as a best man.
There is a high likelihood of disaster.
Tch - what am I worried about, what could possibly go wrong...?
Monday, 25 June 2007
I had a fantastic weekend at Glastonbury.
I was there to work, but I had Friday & Sunday off, so I got to enjoy most of the Festival too!
I drove down on Thursday evening and there was no traffic at all because just about everyone was already there. So my first challenge was to battle single-handedly in the dark with the brand new tent I'd just bought. It was looking great... until I realised I'd mistaken the inner tent for the flatsheet - so theoretically I could stay in it... but it wouldn't be waterproof & it'd be see-through. I started again.
My first overnight shift in the medical centre wasn't too bad at all. The mental health team were far busier than me, dealing with a number of pill-poppers, most of whom just needed reassurance & a quiet lie-down. I took a trip with the ambulance crew when they transferred a punter to hospital - blue light & siren, very exciting!
The shift finished on Friday morning & I made my tired way back to the volunteer medical staff's private campsite. The organisers had scraped together enough cash for much nicer portaloos & showers than the ones in the main site; if you think I missed the true spirit of the festival, I don't care - you're just jealous.
I tried to get some sleep during the day but it wasn't easy (usually I'm quite good at sleeping anywhere); I woke up every now & then to hear that it was still tanking it down with rain & there was a different band on the main stage in the distance.
Early evening, rested, I finally ambled down to the actual festival in my wellies. The mud was already ankle-deep and like quicksand; I kept getting stuck and nearly falling over - which is why I didn't laugh every time I saw someone else tumble in! Getting around the site took quite a bit of effort - everyone there got a free thigh & bum workout just from sticking & unsticking. Later in the weekend the mud became much more liquid & slurry-like. Either that or the loos had overflowed.
There were more than a dozen stages to wander round. But when I first got there, I was hungry & more interested in the food stalls. There were so many different things on offer, from stalls selling your average pie, burger, chips etc to a place that did Australian meats (if you're wondering, crocodile is quite soft & tasty, whereas kangaroo is more meaty).
I found a brilliant place, the Banyan Tree Cafe, which had an open mic (guess where this story is going...). A guy went up & did some rap/poetry & then played some reggae. Some of his mates joined him & it turned into an impromptu samba dance-off, with lots of the cafe staff joining in on various instruments; there ended up being a dozen people on stage.
Well how do you follow that? With a middle-class off-duty doctor singing rude songs at a piano of course. Went down surprisingly well - by the end of it a crowd of about a hundred people had gathered - more than when I started! ;o)
In any case, technically now I can say I played at Glastonbury!
I wandered round the stalls which sold everything; trilby hats, didgeridoos, wind chimes, you name it. I really wanted to buy some fire poi from a juggling stand but thought I'd better try at home first (eg. with rolled-up socks) before I invest 50 quid in the real thing.
Best bit of the festival? I think I've developed a thing for girls in shorts & wellies... Rrrawr...
My next shift started on Saturday afternoon. Much busier with lots of people turning up with minor injuries like blisters & trench-foot, twisted ankles, and one rare condition which took all four doctors to diagnose!
I could hear the main stage from the medical tent so it wasn't so bad; and I got out in time to catch the end of The Killers (who rocked!)
On Sunday I investigated the smaller stages - found some amazing acts in the Dance tents, including a funk/rap band called Loose Cannons. Saw a trumpet-based jazz act called Beirut and made it over to the main stage for The Kaiser Chiefs who were brilliant.
There was an hour before the next act - so did I use my backstage pass to go hang out in the celebrity hospitality tent, before rocking out to The Who and then returning backstage to drink with the stars & get more stories for the blog?
Or did I go to the campsite, pack up the tent while there was still some light, get out of the car park before the ground had been completely blended to mush by vehicle wheels, drive home before the mass exodus of thousands of cars down one road & sleep in my own bed before coming to work today...?
Sorry.
I'll go backstage next time, I promise!
I was there to work, but I had Friday & Sunday off, so I got to enjoy most of the Festival too!
I drove down on Thursday evening and there was no traffic at all because just about everyone was already there. So my first challenge was to battle single-handedly in the dark with the brand new tent I'd just bought. It was looking great... until I realised I'd mistaken the inner tent for the flatsheet - so theoretically I could stay in it... but it wouldn't be waterproof & it'd be see-through. I started again.
My first overnight shift in the medical centre wasn't too bad at all. The mental health team were far busier than me, dealing with a number of pill-poppers, most of whom just needed reassurance & a quiet lie-down. I took a trip with the ambulance crew when they transferred a punter to hospital - blue light & siren, very exciting!
The shift finished on Friday morning & I made my tired way back to the volunteer medical staff's private campsite. The organisers had scraped together enough cash for much nicer portaloos & showers than the ones in the main site; if you think I missed the true spirit of the festival, I don't care - you're just jealous.
I tried to get some sleep during the day but it wasn't easy (usually I'm quite good at sleeping anywhere); I woke up every now & then to hear that it was still tanking it down with rain & there was a different band on the main stage in the distance.
Early evening, rested, I finally ambled down to the actual festival in my wellies. The mud was already ankle-deep and like quicksand; I kept getting stuck and nearly falling over - which is why I didn't laugh every time I saw someone else tumble in! Getting around the site took quite a bit of effort - everyone there got a free thigh & bum workout just from sticking & unsticking. Later in the weekend the mud became much more liquid & slurry-like. Either that or the loos had overflowed.
There were more than a dozen stages to wander round. But when I first got there, I was hungry & more interested in the food stalls. There were so many different things on offer, from stalls selling your average pie, burger, chips etc to a place that did Australian meats (if you're wondering, crocodile is quite soft & tasty, whereas kangaroo is more meaty).
I found a brilliant place, the Banyan Tree Cafe, which had an open mic (guess where this story is going...). A guy went up & did some rap/poetry & then played some reggae. Some of his mates joined him & it turned into an impromptu samba dance-off, with lots of the cafe staff joining in on various instruments; there ended up being a dozen people on stage.
Well how do you follow that? With a middle-class off-duty doctor singing rude songs at a piano of course. Went down surprisingly well - by the end of it a crowd of about a hundred people had gathered - more than when I started! ;o)
In any case, technically now I can say I played at Glastonbury!
I wandered round the stalls which sold everything; trilby hats, didgeridoos, wind chimes, you name it. I really wanted to buy some fire poi from a juggling stand but thought I'd better try at home first (eg. with rolled-up socks) before I invest 50 quid in the real thing.
Best bit of the festival? I think I've developed a thing for girls in shorts & wellies... Rrrawr...
My next shift started on Saturday afternoon. Much busier with lots of people turning up with minor injuries like blisters & trench-foot, twisted ankles, and one rare condition which took all four doctors to diagnose!
I could hear the main stage from the medical tent so it wasn't so bad; and I got out in time to catch the end of The Killers (who rocked!)
On Sunday I investigated the smaller stages - found some amazing acts in the Dance tents, including a funk/rap band called Loose Cannons. Saw a trumpet-based jazz act called Beirut and made it over to the main stage for The Kaiser Chiefs who were brilliant.
There was an hour before the next act - so did I use my backstage pass to go hang out in the celebrity hospitality tent, before rocking out to The Who and then returning backstage to drink with the stars & get more stories for the blog?
Or did I go to the campsite, pack up the tent while there was still some light, get out of the car park before the ground had been completely blended to mush by vehicle wheels, drive home before the mass exodus of thousands of cars down one road & sleep in my own bed before coming to work today...?
Sorry.
I'll go backstage next time, I promise!
Wednesday, 20 June 2007
Yes, for TWO nights only,
Amateur Transplants are proud to present:
THE BLACK & WHITE MENSTRUAL SHOW
at the
New Players Theatre,
Villiers Street,
London WC2N
(next to Embankment tube station)
Wednesday 4th July & Thursday 5th July 2007
at 7.30pm
Songs performed will include old favourites and new tracks from the forthcoming difficult 2nd album "Unfit To Practice".
Tickets available from http://www.fridaytowers.com/blackandwhite/
The shows will sell out* so get your tickets soon toensure avoid disappointment!
*probably true, seeing as we're emailing everyonewho's ever bought a copy of the CD whose email address we still have from when they bought a CD. As well as everyone else in our email address books. So hurry!
Amateur Transplants are proud to present:
THE BLACK & WHITE MENSTRUAL SHOW
at the
New Players Theatre,
Villiers Street,
London WC2N
(next to Embankment tube station)
Wednesday 4th July & Thursday 5th July 2007
at 7.30pm
Songs performed will include old favourites and new tracks from the forthcoming difficult 2nd album "Unfit To Practice".
Tickets available from http://www.fridaytowers.com/blackandwhite/
The shows will sell out* so get your tickets soon to
*probably true, seeing as we're emailing everyone
I feel good about myself when I make efficient use of my free time.
In no particular order, in the 48 hours, I have:
- been to a musical recital where I sang to (& offended) the entire concert hall,
- interrupted my mate while he was proposing to his girlfriend,
- met dozens of friends who were first year medical students when I became a doctor, and saw them finally qualify as doctors themselves,
- planned a new show with Adam! (details to follow soon)
- crossed London to buy one replacement earbud missing from my stethescope,
- taken a mate out for a birthday breakfast,
- wondered why it was taking all the staff in a music shop to deal with one customer... (turned out he was Bill Bailey),
- been to a Summer Ball at Stamford Bridge, Chelsea FC's Ground,
& bought a load of camping gear to take to Glastonbury tomorrow
All in all, I've caught up with about 100 old friends I haven't seen in the last 1 to 5 years.
Including 2 ex-girlfriends... it was a bit awkward, but it made a great photo!
In no particular order, in the 48 hours, I have:
- been to a musical recital where I sang to (& offended) the entire concert hall,
- interrupted my mate while he was proposing to his girlfriend,
- met dozens of friends who were first year medical students when I became a doctor, and saw them finally qualify as doctors themselves,
- planned a new show with Adam! (details to follow soon)
- crossed London to buy one replacement earbud missing from my stethescope,
- taken a mate out for a birthday breakfast,
- wondered why it was taking all the staff in a music shop to deal with one customer... (turned out he was Bill Bailey),
- been to a Summer Ball at Stamford Bridge, Chelsea FC's Ground,
& bought a load of camping gear to take to Glastonbury tomorrow
All in all, I've caught up with about 100 old friends I haven't seen in the last 1 to 5 years.
Including 2 ex-girlfriends... it was a bit awkward, but it made a great photo!
Sunday, 17 June 2007
I got my new piano last week. And bloody hell, it's brilliant.
It's a full size digital, absolutely gorgeous sound, a complete joy to play - feels just like a real piano, only it's portable.
And now I'm in pain.
I've rushed home every day after work to play; I've... 'discovered' lots of sheet music online over the last couple of years and haven't had a chance to try any of it, so since last weekend I've been playing anything on it. Until I get cramp in my fingers.
Classical, Jazz, Rock, you name it; cheesy stuff too... (eg. I've been trying to work out the solos from the Baywatch theme tune - I'm playing dinner music for a friend's wedding in a week and I know he'dhate appreciate it).
But as a result I haven't been very sociable this week.
So despite doing a long, tiring shift yesterday&night, some friends dragged me out against my will to go hiking round Oxfordshire with them today. It'd do me good, they said.
Bollocks to that, I said. But they hauled me out of bed & into the car anyway.
I was tired, grumpy, sore-fingered and not in the mood to trek across stupid fields strewn with stupid sheep and their stupid stinky sheep-shit all over my shoes.
So when we got to the bridge, I did not want to take another step until I'd told my friends how pissed off I was.
But due to a combination of immense frustration and lack of sleep, this is how I expressed myself:
Well that's never happened before...
It's a full size digital, absolutely gorgeous sound, a complete joy to play - feels just like a real piano, only it's portable.
And now I'm in pain.
I've rushed home every day after work to play; I've... 'discovered' lots of sheet music online over the last couple of years and haven't had a chance to try any of it, so since last weekend I've been playing anything on it. Until I get cramp in my fingers.
Classical, Jazz, Rock, you name it; cheesy stuff too... (eg. I've been trying to work out the solos from the Baywatch theme tune - I'm playing dinner music for a friend's wedding in a week and I know he'd
But as a result I haven't been very sociable this week.
So despite doing a long, tiring shift yesterday&night, some friends dragged me out against my will to go hiking round Oxfordshire with them today. It'd do me good, they said.
Bollocks to that, I said. But they hauled me out of bed & into the car anyway.
I was tired, grumpy, sore-fingered and not in the mood to trek across stupid fields strewn with stupid sheep and their stupid stinky sheep-shit all over my shoes.
So when we got to the bridge, I did not want to take another step until I'd told my friends how pissed off I was.
But due to a combination of immense frustration and lack of sleep, this is how I expressed myself:
Well that's never happened before...
Monday, 11 June 2007
Crikey, is it Monday already?
Doesn't time fly when you're having fun?
And finally, I am!
I've got an MMC-Golden Ticket - it has been confirmed that I will not be unemployed in August, but in a training job to ultimately become a Consultant Anaesthetist in a few years time.
Woohoo! Great news. (OK, I'm still waiting to hear whether it's London, Kent, Surrey or Sussex... but it's a start!)
And now I'm actually a bit bored! With no interviews or exams for a while, I've been able to read a few books because I've wanted to (rather than because I'm going to be asked lots of questions about it), all of which are highly recommended:
Quirkology - The curious science of everyday lives, people psychology, helpfulness, being lucky, the world's funniest joke and the results of lots of fascinating experiments.
The Meaning of Tingo - Someone's been through hundreds of dictionaries and uncovered words that we don't quite have in the English language (and in that respect is quite similar to Douglas Adams's The Deeper Meaning of Liff)
The Undercover Economist - A real eye-opener, explains where costs come from, why coffee shops charge so much, etc... but now I can't go shopping without feeling like I'm being conned.
And now I'm reading The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable - explains why unpredictable things are bound to happen all the time.
Also I'm gonna be working at the Reading Festival & Glastonbury (so for goodness sake, don't take an overdose on my shift) and seeing the bands in between.
And last but not least...(drumroll) Adam & I are going to record the next Amateur Transplants album! I'm going to write a load more songs and polish up some unfinished ones. There might even be a gig or two!
So, if you'll excuse me, I need to go & buy a piano. No rest for the wicked...
Doesn't time fly when you're having fun?
And finally, I am!
I've got an MMC-Golden Ticket - it has been confirmed that I will not be unemployed in August, but in a training job to ultimately become a Consultant Anaesthetist in a few years time.
Woohoo! Great news. (OK, I'm still waiting to hear whether it's London, Kent, Surrey or Sussex... but it's a start!)
And now I'm actually a bit bored! With no interviews or exams for a while, I've been able to read a few books because I've wanted to (rather than because I'm going to be asked lots of questions about it), all of which are highly recommended:
Quirkology - The curious science of everyday lives, people psychology, helpfulness, being lucky, the world's funniest joke and the results of lots of fascinating experiments.
The Meaning of Tingo - Someone's been through hundreds of dictionaries and uncovered words that we don't quite have in the English language (and in that respect is quite similar to Douglas Adams's The Deeper Meaning of Liff)
The Undercover Economist - A real eye-opener, explains where costs come from, why coffee shops charge so much, etc... but now I can't go shopping without feeling like I'm being conned.
And now I'm reading The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable - explains why unpredictable things are bound to happen all the time.
Also I'm gonna be working at the Reading Festival & Glastonbury (so for goodness sake, don't take an overdose on my shift) and seeing the bands in between.
And last but not least...(drumroll) Adam & I are going to record the next Amateur Transplants album! I'm going to write a load more songs and polish up some unfinished ones. There might even be a gig or two!
So, if you'll excuse me, I need to go & buy a piano. No rest for the wicked...
Tuesday, 5 June 2007
(Posting while on call so I'll write a proper one when I have more time.)
I'm playing badminton tomorrow.
I'm looking forward to it. It's a sport that doesn't take much stamina, just agility & tactics.
A friend of mine told me badminton was a "gay" sport.
I asked him why.
"Shuttlecock" he said. "It's just a ball in a skirt"
...
I'm playing badminton tomorrow.
I'm looking forward to it. It's a sport that doesn't take much stamina, just agility & tactics.
A friend of mine told me badminton was a "gay" sport.
I asked him why.
"Shuttlecock" he said. "It's just a ball in a skirt"
...
Saturday, 2 June 2007
I just got a wake-up call from God.
(Well, it was some of his witnesses actually.)
Three of them buzzed through the intercom. They said they wanted to talk to me about the Bible.
I wasn't really awake enough to teach them anything so I sent them on their way. They left me a leaflet. How nice.
I don't know much about Jehovah's Witnesses - most people only see them appearing door-to-door in sitcoms. My understanding is that
a) they believe that only a fixed number of people get into heaven &
b) they encourage you to join their church.
That doesn't make good business sense in my view, increasing the competition.
Imagine you'd invested your whole life to being a good Jehovah's Witness, then at the gates of heaven you were refused entry in favour of someone you'd converted that morning...
My other experience of JWs is in clinical exams. They appear a lot in exams. Usually with very severe blood loss. When JWs appear in an exam, they have usually suffered horrible life-threatening violent trauma.
I assume this is because they often have very strong beliefs which prevent them receiving blood transfusions - so we have to know how to manage them ethically appropriately as well as clinically correctly - thus they make good question-fodder in oral exams.
Either that or they're statistically a very very unlucky bunch of people.
Well, my three seemed nice. Tch, maybe I should've asked them in - would've been nice to find out more.
I just didn't think of it in time. Remember, I had just woken up.
And I wasn't wearing anything.
(Could've been awkward for everyone then...)
(Well, it was some of his witnesses actually.)
Three of them buzzed through the intercom. They said they wanted to talk to me about the Bible.
I wasn't really awake enough to teach them anything so I sent them on their way. They left me a leaflet. How nice.
I don't know much about Jehovah's Witnesses - most people only see them appearing door-to-door in sitcoms. My understanding is that
a) they believe that only a fixed number of people get into heaven &
b) they encourage you to join their church.
That doesn't make good business sense in my view, increasing the competition.
Imagine you'd invested your whole life to being a good Jehovah's Witness, then at the gates of heaven you were refused entry in favour of someone you'd converted that morning...
My other experience of JWs is in clinical exams. They appear a lot in exams. Usually with very severe blood loss. When JWs appear in an exam, they have usually suffered horrible life-threatening violent trauma.
I assume this is because they often have very strong beliefs which prevent them receiving blood transfusions - so we have to know how to manage them ethically appropriately as well as clinically correctly - thus they make good question-fodder in oral exams.
Either that or they're statistically a very very unlucky bunch of people.
Well, my three seemed nice. Tch, maybe I should've asked them in - would've been nice to find out more.
I just didn't think of it in time. Remember, I had just woken up.
And I wasn't wearing anything.
(Could've been awkward for everyone then...)
Wednesday, 30 May 2007
In the Sixteenth Century, the lords who governed the area which was to become the county of Gloucestershire were faced with a crisis.
There were too many stupid people. And they were multiplying.
This had a knock-on effect on the use of resources and the local communities.
The governors had a meeting to create a way of getting the idiots to self-select and remove themselves from the gene-pool. One man suggested asking them to throw themselves off a cliff.
How could we possibly get them to do that? asked another.
And so... cheese-rolling was born.
I went to see a re-enactment of this astonishing method of social engineering last Monday at Gloucester's Annual Cheese Rolling Festival. Yes, you did read that correctly.
A piece of cheese is lobbed down an insanely steep hill (the photos on the BBC news website do not even begin to do it justice) followed by people who nowadays have come from all around the world to take part. Especially Australians (so kind of in-keeping with the original culling-of-the-unwanted ethos of the event.)
The winner gets to keep the cheese. (And has first dibs on the ambulance.)
I'm just glad I wasn't working on the Trauma operating list - there looked like a lot of bones being broken on the bumpy tumble down...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the photos front - my camera went missing in action, but I'm getting it back soon. And my Grade 1 shearing disaster has already matured into about a Grade 3 (my hair grows fiendishly quickly - it's my one superpower... if only I could find a way of harnessing it for good, not evil...)
I'll try & dig out some photos when I tell you about the fancy dress party I went to...
Smile!
There were too many stupid people. And they were multiplying.
This had a knock-on effect on the use of resources and the local communities.
The governors had a meeting to create a way of getting the idiots to self-select and remove themselves from the gene-pool. One man suggested asking them to throw themselves off a cliff.
How could we possibly get them to do that? asked another.
And so... cheese-rolling was born.
I went to see a re-enactment of this astonishing method of social engineering last Monday at Gloucester's Annual Cheese Rolling Festival. Yes, you did read that correctly.
A piece of cheese is lobbed down an insanely steep hill (the photos on the BBC news website do not even begin to do it justice) followed by people who nowadays have come from all around the world to take part. Especially Australians (so kind of in-keeping with the original culling-of-the-unwanted ethos of the event.)
The winner gets to keep the cheese. (And has first dibs on the ambulance.)
I'm just glad I wasn't working on the Trauma operating list - there looked like a lot of bones being broken on the bumpy tumble down...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the photos front - my camera went missing in action, but I'm getting it back soon. And my Grade 1 shearing disaster has already matured into about a Grade 3 (my hair grows fiendishly quickly - it's my one superpower... if only I could find a way of harnessing it for good, not evil...)
I'll try & dig out some photos when I tell you about the fancy dress party I went to...
Smile!
Tuesday, 22 May 2007
1. Describe interesting, difficult or uncomfortable experiences. Try to record both positive and not so positive elements. What made the experience memorable?
The one thing worse than your friends shaving your head while you're drunkenly asleep... is when you wake up hungover and think it's a good idea to do it yourself.
The first bit was easy: bzzzzz-thunk - throw hair on the floor - repeat. Within a minute, I had liberated enough head-hair to create a very convincing fake Arabic beard (not that I'd ever want to do such a thing).
Although at that stage, with half scalped with long random tufts waiting to be mown down, I think I looked like a badly half-plucked chicken.
I say "I think" because then there was the power cut.
2. How did it affect you?
What do you think? I couldn't see, but I knew I looked mentally ill (although I was only going to Brighton for lunch, so I'd probably look normal there).
3. How did it affect the patient?
(Patient? Well, I guess that's me)
I was not happy.
Eventually found the appropriate trip switches and got back to the shearing. It is very difficult to shave the back of your own head. Properly. I eventually rigged up a series of mirrors, but even so had to move my hand in one direction to get the shaver in the mirror to move the opposite way.
And finally, after about an hour of identifying strays and cutting them down, it was finally all done.
4. How did it affect the team?
Everyone I have met since then has pissed themselves laughing.
(Except for maybe one elderly patient who I think pissed herself for another reason).
5. What did you learn from the experience, and what (if anything) would you do differently next time?
Get drunk & persuade someone else to do it.
The one thing worse than your friends shaving your head while you're drunkenly asleep... is when you wake up hungover and think it's a good idea to do it yourself.
The first bit was easy: bzzzzz-thunk - throw hair on the floor - repeat. Within a minute, I had liberated enough head-hair to create a very convincing fake Arabic beard (not that I'd ever want to do such a thing).
Although at that stage, with half scalped with long random tufts waiting to be mown down, I think I looked like a badly half-plucked chicken.
I say "I think" because then there was the power cut.
2. How did it affect you?
What do you think? I couldn't see, but I knew I looked mentally ill (although I was only going to Brighton for lunch, so I'd probably look normal there).
3. How did it affect the patient?
(Patient? Well, I guess that's me)
I was not happy.
Eventually found the appropriate trip switches and got back to the shearing. It is very difficult to shave the back of your own head. Properly. I eventually rigged up a series of mirrors, but even so had to move my hand in one direction to get the shaver in the mirror to move the opposite way.
And finally, after about an hour of identifying strays and cutting them down, it was finally all done.
4. How did it affect the team?
Everyone I have met since then has pissed themselves laughing.
(Except for maybe one elderly patient who I think pissed herself for another reason).
5. What did you learn from the experience, and what (if anything) would you do differently next time?
Get drunk & persuade someone else to do it.
Monday, 21 May 2007
Friday, 18 May 2007
Nothing which will really bum you out, but enough to put me on a bit of a downer...
Was quite upset to hear that one of the professors who taught when I was at Medical School had died last week. Most readers will have come across Prof John Henry, who was probably Britain's foremost Toxicologist & Poisons expert, advising the government on quite a few high profile cases (... as well as answering Ali G's questions about drugs). He was a really nice man too & will be sadly missed by a large number of people.
Two weeks on, my car's still in Critical Care waiting for a new valve (or something).
Disappointment on the Funny Foot front:
Hello from Walls, Thank you for your recent E-mail.
Unfortunately, the product has been discontinued. You may find a few remaining items in store but Unilever has decided to discontinue the item due to low levels of demand. Please accept my apolgies for any disappointment that this may cause.
I suppose it is looking more likely that the job application system might become a little more fair - although the current solution of "we'll still give out most of the jobs our way, but we'll go back to the old system for round 2 to fill the last few training jobs and the remaining ten thousand doctors will have to look for something else" is not really there yet.
My interview went OK (although no-one even wanted to look at the beautifulwine list portfolio I've spent ages creating) - and I did get to see my mum for the first time in months & take her out for lunch afterwards.
And it is the weekend...
Oh well, mustn't grumble.
Was quite upset to hear that one of the professors who taught when I was at Medical School had died last week. Most readers will have come across Prof John Henry, who was probably Britain's foremost Toxicologist & Poisons expert, advising the government on quite a few high profile cases (... as well as answering Ali G's questions about drugs). He was a really nice man too & will be sadly missed by a large number of people.
Two weeks on, my car's still in Critical Care waiting for a new valve (or something).
Disappointment on the Funny Foot front:
Hello from Walls, Thank you for your recent E-mail.
Unfortunately, the product has been discontinued. You may find a few remaining items in store but Unilever has decided to discontinue the item due to low levels of demand. Please accept my apolgies for any disappointment that this may cause.
I suppose it is looking more likely that the job application system might become a little more fair - although the current solution of "we'll still give out most of the jobs our way, but we'll go back to the old system for round 2 to fill the last few training jobs and the remaining ten thousand doctors will have to look for something else" is not really there yet.
My interview went OK (although no-one even wanted to look at the beautiful
And it is the weekend...
Oh well, mustn't grumble.
Tuesday, 15 May 2007
Front page news on the BBC website (for about 3 hours) was that MTAS has, unsurprisingly, been scrapped.
Which is great in some respects. No-one will get a job unfairly.
But...er... how will any of us get a job now?
The old way, of everyone applying wherever they want to work, means more application forms and more interviews! Arrrgh!
Should I still go to my MTAS interview tomorrow? Will there be anyone there? I hope so - I've spent ages making my portfolio look nice, the printing, the binding...
(Bugger. I've just realised it looks just like a restaurant wine list.)
Which is great in some respects. No-one will get a job unfairly.
But...er... how will any of us get a job now?
The old way, of everyone applying wherever they want to work, means more application forms and more interviews! Arrrgh!
Should I still go to my MTAS interview tomorrow? Will there be anyone there? I hope so - I've spent ages making my portfolio look nice, the printing, the binding...
(Bugger. I've just realised it looks just like a restaurant wine list.)
Monday, 14 May 2007
Saturday, 12 May 2007
Actually no, I won't rant. In the grand scheme of things, it's really not a big deal.
I just want an ice cream. On a stick.
A Funny Foot.
Apparently, Wall's has relaunched them (I didn't know they'd stopped making them). But I can't find one anywhere. In any supermarket or newsagent. And believe me, I've looked every time I've been in one for the last few months.
So where can I get me a Funny Foot? Hmm? Anybody?
Or for that matter, a Toffee Crumble..
...which has to be THE best choc/nut/biscuit-coated ice-cream-with-a-toffee-centre on a stick in this or any other universe.
I hadn't seen one since I was little, so when I found some last year in a corner shop in Birmingham last year I bought them all - and finished them off within a few hours (but there were less than a dozen to begin with, so it's allowed). Mmm...
Monday, 7 May 2007
Saturday, 5 May 2007
I have a fairly middle-aged car, normally fit & well.
I've always put the right stuff into the tank, taken it for regular check-ups, never over-exerted it...
Recently I've noticed it sounding a little tired going up hills.
And since the start of the week, the engine fans have started puffing on minimal effort.
Then yesterday the dash lights all came on down one side.
It wasn't relieved by stopping the car.
It's never smoked. Drinks only unleaded.
I took the poor thing to the garage and the nicedoctor man diagnosed a circulation problem.
I think my car's had a heart attack.
They kept it in overnight.
Might need a thermostat transplant.
I'm so worried. (sniff) I love my car. It's the only one I've got...
I've always put the right stuff into the tank, taken it for regular check-ups, never over-exerted it...
Recently I've noticed it sounding a little tired going up hills.
And since the start of the week, the engine fans have started puffing on minimal effort.
Then yesterday the dash lights all came on down one side.
It wasn't relieved by stopping the car.
It's never smoked. Drinks only unleaded.
I took the poor thing to the garage and the nice
I think my car's had a heart attack.
They kept it in overnight.
Might need a thermostat transplant.
I'm so worried. (sniff) I love my car. It's the only one I've got...
Friday, 4 May 2007
Monday, 30 April 2007
I went to a conference in Scotland recently and stayed in a hotel.
I vowed to keep myself out of mischief, but then I managed to break my TV within seconds of getting to my room - part of the plug snapped off when I unplugged it from the wall.
I explained this to the receptionist & came back later to discover the replacement TV had no buttons (besides on/off) - the remote control was missing so the TV was untuneable
I told the manager (who had taken over at reception). He developed a peculiar bipolar fury/fawn complex; he would apologise to me profusely at the mistake, but then swear consonant-heavily (about the "f'kin' uddiot, stupp'd bast'rrd" who swapped the TVs) - but he flipped from one state to the other several times a sentence. I find a heavy Scots accent hard to follow at the best of times, but when some guy's swearing his head off but saying sorry, it all gets very confusing.
He brought up a replacement telly & plugged it in. No reception. That set him off again worse than before - he stomped away, loudly cursing and apologising. (Obviously a graduate from the Basil Fawlty School of Hotel Management.)
The aerial wasn't plugged in properly - a small tweak & it worked fine.
Blokey rang up from reception (although I don't know why he bothered, I could hear him just as clearly shouting from downstairs) about telly#4 so I relievedly told him all was well...
... and then fell asleep. I didn't watch any TV during my stay. Oops.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Breakfast was another delight. Telling the chef which items I wanted for my fry-up, each time greeted with louder & more exaggerated yells of "NAE BOWTHER!"
Luckily I didn't found out how he'd react if it had been a bother...
And then on to the conference...
(to be continued)
I vowed to keep myself out of mischief, but then I managed to break my TV within seconds of getting to my room - part of the plug snapped off when I unplugged it from the wall.
I explained this to the receptionist & came back later to discover the replacement TV had no buttons (besides on/off) - the remote control was missing so the TV was untuneable
I told the manager (who had taken over at reception). He developed a peculiar bipolar fury/fawn complex; he would apologise to me profusely at the mistake, but then swear consonant-heavily (about the "f'kin' uddiot, stupp'd bast'rrd" who swapped the TVs) - but he flipped from one state to the other several times a sentence. I find a heavy Scots accent hard to follow at the best of times, but when some guy's swearing his head off but saying sorry, it all gets very confusing.
He brought up a replacement telly & plugged it in. No reception. That set him off again worse than before - he stomped away, loudly cursing and apologising. (Obviously a graduate from the Basil Fawlty School of Hotel Management.)
The aerial wasn't plugged in properly - a small tweak & it worked fine.
Blokey rang up from reception (although I don't know why he bothered, I could hear him just as clearly shouting from downstairs) about telly#4 so I relievedly told him all was well...
... and then fell asleep. I didn't watch any TV during my stay. Oops.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Breakfast was another delight. Telling the chef which items I wanted for my fry-up, each time greeted with louder & more exaggerated yells of "NAE BOWTHER!"
Luckily I didn't found out how he'd react if it had been a bother...
And then on to the conference...
(to be continued)
Saturday, 28 April 2007
You may have heard on the news that there's been another mess-up regarding MTAS. The highly-secure application system had a slight flaw, in that anyone could easily access anyone else's application online simply by changing one of the numbers in a page's URL.
So theoretically I might not get a job because someone's fiddled with my application form... (rather than on my own merits)
And because two-thirds of doctors have not been selected for any interviews, MTAS created "Round 1.b" which allows all of us to have one interview, presumably to stop us complaining (rather than, say, admit that they'd got it wrong and re-organise the whole process in a more fair way).
But now, after the online security breach, the website's been taken down.
So when & where are all our interviews going to be then?
They start on Monday and we were supposed to log on this week to get the details.
But this is currently what the entire site looks like:
No, seriously. Compare. (edit: Since I posted this, they've changed it slightly and now admit there was a problem - power to the people!)
What now MTAS?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Junior Doctor's Committee has made a suggestion regarding Patricia Hewitt, the Health Secretary.
Make her resign
- and then reapply for her job using the MTAS process.
"That means that her job would be scrapped and she'd have to re-apply without any of her experience counting, which is basically what the government has asked junior doctors to do."
Sounds fair to me...
So theoretically I might not get a job because someone's fiddled with my application form... (rather than on my own merits)
And because two-thirds of doctors have not been selected for any interviews, MTAS created "Round 1.b" which allows all of us to have one interview, presumably to stop us complaining (rather than, say, admit that they'd got it wrong and re-organise the whole process in a more fair way).
But now, after the online security breach, the website's been taken down.
So when & where are all our interviews going to be then?
They start on Monday and we were supposed to log on this week to get the details.
But this is currently what the entire site looks like:
No, seriously. Compare. (edit: Since I posted this, they've changed it slightly and now admit there was a problem - power to the people!)
What now MTAS?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Junior Doctor's Committee has made a suggestion regarding Patricia Hewitt, the Health Secretary.
Make her resign
- and then reapply for her job using the MTAS process.
"That means that her job would be scrapped and she'd have to re-apply without any of her experience counting, which is basically what the government has asked junior doctors to do."
Sounds fair to me...
Saturday, 21 April 2007
So I'm in a bit of trouble.
I spent all of Sunday thinking I'd forgotten something important, but I couldn't remember what. Until I got a text from my best friend a few days later saying "Missed anyone's birthday recently?"
I rang him to talk - I felt terrible. He put me in my place and gloated a bit, but I think I'm forgiven so everything's not lost.
I want to get him something nice anyway. And that's the hardest part - I can't think of anything cool but not entirely useless.
Any thoughts?
I've seen some really funky clocks...
I spent all of Sunday thinking I'd forgotten something important, but I couldn't remember what. Until I got a text from my best friend a few days later saying "Missed anyone's birthday recently?"
I rang him to talk - I felt terrible. He put me in my place and gloated a bit, but I think I'm forgiven so everything's not lost.
I want to get him something nice anyway. And that's the hardest part - I can't think of anything cool but not entirely useless.
Any thoughts?
I've seen some really funky clocks...
Wednesday, 18 April 2007
This is brilliant.
And I've seen my mate Leo Abrahams do something similar live, only it was even more amazing.
And yet I still can't play this piece which I've been trying to learn for about 15 years! (although obviously not continuously - I'd bleed to death from the fingers)
I reckon really good guitarists must have a secret extra joint in their fingers or something...
And I've seen my mate Leo Abrahams do something similar live, only it was even more amazing.
And yet I still can't play this piece which I've been trying to learn for about 15 years! (although obviously not continuously - I'd bleed to death from the fingers)
| Tarrega - Gran Val... |
I reckon really good guitarists must have a secret extra joint in their fingers or something...
Sunday, 15 April 2007
I've spent most of this weekend outdoors.
I've bought rollerblades, a softball set, table tennis stuff, another frisbee, a skateboard, a football, 8 water pistols, a big pack of water bombs, a picnic rug & lots of picnic stuff.
A load of us doctors had a civilised barbecue this evening which devolved into carnage, initially with water fights, but culminating in a rather messy, squeezy tomato ketchup bottle battle.
I've had such a great weekend. I love summer.
Right, time to start reading that book I wanted to try & finish for tomorrow.
It's gonna be a late night...
I've bought rollerblades, a softball set, table tennis stuff, another frisbee, a skateboard, a football, 8 water pistols, a big pack of water bombs, a picnic rug & lots of picnic stuff.
A load of us doctors had a civilised barbecue this evening which devolved into carnage, initially with water fights, but culminating in a rather messy, squeezy tomato ketchup bottle battle.
I've had such a great weekend. I love summer.
Right, time to start reading that book I wanted to try & finish for tomorrow.
It's gonna be a late night...
Friday, 13 April 2007
Great news. I've just heard that a particular gene (or probably technically an "allele") has been discovered which is present in 70% of obese subjects.
Did anyone else hear the sigh of relief wheezed by overweight people all over the country?
I worry that this finding might be used as an excuse for people giving up and not trying to do anything about it...
"It's not my fault, it's m' genes!" mumbles Mr Fat, reaching for his fourth pie of the morning...
Otherwise I've had quite a nice day. The weather's been lovely and sunny & I've been in lectures so haven't actually had to do anything all day! In a break, a few of us even played frisbee outside.
Apparently there's a game called Ultimate Frisbee - team sport, quite serious, league matches and everything. One of the guys today plays it and I swear, I have never seen a frisbee thrown so well! Accurate, smooth regardless of whatever speed it's thrown, glides through the air like a UFO, no wobbling in the slightest... amazing... (well, maybe you had to be there)
I love frisbee. We even took one with us to Morocco and played frisbee in the Sahara!
Remember at school, when the weather was good, teacher would sometimes let you have a lesson outside? Well, I've suggested to the surgeon in the past that we could take all the equipment out with us and operate in the park near the hospital. He said no.
Spoilsport.
Did anyone else hear the sigh of relief wheezed by overweight people all over the country?
I worry that this finding might be used as an excuse for people giving up and not trying to do anything about it...
"It's not my fault, it's m' genes!" mumbles Mr Fat, reaching for his fourth pie of the morning...
Otherwise I've had quite a nice day. The weather's been lovely and sunny & I've been in lectures so haven't actually had to do anything all day! In a break, a few of us even played frisbee outside.
Apparently there's a game called Ultimate Frisbee - team sport, quite serious, league matches and everything. One of the guys today plays it and I swear, I have never seen a frisbee thrown so well! Accurate, smooth regardless of whatever speed it's thrown, glides through the air like a UFO, no wobbling in the slightest... amazing... (well, maybe you had to be there)
I love frisbee. We even took one with us to Morocco and played frisbee in the Sahara!
Remember at school, when the weather was good, teacher would sometimes let you have a lesson outside? Well, I've suggested to the surgeon in the past that we could take all the equipment out with us and operate in the park near the hospital. He said no.
Spoilsport.
Sunday, 8 April 2007
Sorry for not posting for a while.
That's partly because I've spent an inordinate amount of time working through this fantastic quiz.
Those of you not applying for a medical career through MTAS are well-advised to try it, just to help you understand the feeling of frustration we are going through with our online application forms.
Plus I think some of the questions are the same.
Happy Eater
- S -
That's partly because I've spent an inordinate amount of time working through this fantastic quiz.
Those of you not applying for a medical career through MTAS are well-advised to try it, just to help you understand the feeling of frustration we are going through with our online application forms.
Plus I think some of the questions are the same.
Happy Eater
- S -
Tuesday, 3 April 2007
How are you? I just spent a nice, relaxing weekend miles away from the runaway train that is MTAS, so I bring you...
Things That Surprised Me In Amsterdam:
1) You don't have to have any involvement with drugs or the sex industry to have a good time in Amsterdam. Yeah, boring I know, but it's a really nice city. It's clean, the architecture is beautiful, there are lots of things to see & do, the restaurants are great, everyone speaks English... and there's this faint smell of something calming wherever you go...
2) The Dutch are the kings of fast food. Pancakes, waffles and best of all, fries with raw onions, ketchup & fritesaus... Meanwhile McDonalds sells the surprisingly tasty McKroket (which seems to just be a Findus Crispy Pancake in a bun).
3) It is true that at Schiphol Airport there is a fly painted onto each urinal so that you have something to aim for! (I got some strange looks checking this)
4) Despite the drugs & the fast food, and the fact that there are usually 6 lanes of traffic to contend with whenever you cross a road (car, tram & cycle lanes in both directions), your average Dutch is incredibly laid back yet can swear fluently about their boss in 4 languages - plus I didn't see an unattractive Dutch woman once (although the hen-night hags effortlessly brought down the average).
5) Walking back to the hotel, I did pass a few red-lit windows (no, I wasn't staying in a dodgy part of town, they're all over Amsterdam) and I reckon someone must be taking the piss - or maybe it's just excellent business-sense, knowing that there's a market for embarrassingly unappealing women to hand your drunken mate over to on an English stag do...
6) The bloke lied when he told me that tickets for the night time Jazz Canal Cruise always sold out - we passengers were outnumbered by the 4-piece jazz band & crew. I didn't mind - unlimited wine, cheese, olives & live Jazz on the beautifully-lit canals. Really cool.
7) I have never felt sorry for a work of art before. But in the Van Gogh Gallery, there's an amazing painting hanging in between the famous portrait of the artist's bedroom on one side and the even-more-famous "Sunflowers" on the other - but in the few minutes I was watching, not one person stopped to look at it. How sad...
8) The menu doesn't tell you everything - I didn't immediately notice that my breakfast pancake was on fire - which was nearly very messy!
(By the way, Grand Marnier burns with a transparent blue flame.)
Things That Surprised Me In Amsterdam:
1) You don't have to have any involvement with drugs or the sex industry to have a good time in Amsterdam. Yeah, boring I know, but it's a really nice city. It's clean, the architecture is beautiful, there are lots of things to see & do, the restaurants are great, everyone speaks English... and there's this faint smell of something calming wherever you go...
2) The Dutch are the kings of fast food. Pancakes, waffles and best of all, fries with raw onions, ketchup & fritesaus... Meanwhile McDonalds sells the surprisingly tasty McKroket (which seems to just be a Findus Crispy Pancake in a bun).
3) It is true that at Schiphol Airport there is a fly painted onto each urinal so that you have something to aim for! (I got some strange looks checking this)
4) Despite the drugs & the fast food, and the fact that there are usually 6 lanes of traffic to contend with whenever you cross a road (car, tram & cycle lanes in both directions), your average Dutch is incredibly laid back yet can swear fluently about their boss in 4 languages - plus I didn't see an unattractive Dutch woman once (although the hen-night hags effortlessly brought down the average).
5) Walking back to the hotel, I did pass a few red-lit windows (no, I wasn't staying in a dodgy part of town, they're all over Amsterdam) and I reckon someone must be taking the piss - or maybe it's just excellent business-sense, knowing that there's a market for embarrassingly unappealing women to hand your drunken mate over to on an English stag do...
6) The bloke lied when he told me that tickets for the night time Jazz Canal Cruise always sold out - we passengers were outnumbered by the 4-piece jazz band & crew. I didn't mind - unlimited wine, cheese, olives & live Jazz on the beautifully-lit canals. Really cool.
7) I have never felt sorry for a work of art before. But in the Van Gogh Gallery, there's an amazing painting hanging in between the famous portrait of the artist's bedroom on one side and the even-more-famous "Sunflowers" on the other - but in the few minutes I was watching, not one person stopped to look at it. How sad...
8) The menu doesn't tell you everything - I didn't immediately notice that my breakfast pancake was on fire - which was nearly very messy!
(By the way, Grand Marnier burns with a transparent blue flame.)
Wednesday, 28 March 2007
Not a post about the Beatles - although I did see the Bootleg Beatles in concert a few weeks ago. They looked and sounded excellent, they even had Beatles-style banter; I think I laughed a bit too loud when they said "Please turn off your mobile phones... because they haven't been invented yet."
They were much better than the tribute band I was in at school.
This is for several reasons:
- we were called The Beatlets,
- we didn't have any guitars,
- there were only three of us (with one, Indian, singer).
Nevertheless, we still played in Assembly once or twice a term for almost two years!
God knows how I got away with not being bullied more...
Anyway I'm posting really because I'm worried about a friend of mine, who shall remain semi-nameless...
She says she doesn't really read my blog, yet she knows everything on it.
She doesn't have anything to say about it, but often she passes on comments from her friend "Jude".
"Jude" seems to be a big fan and appears to like the blog a lot. Every time I see my friend, "Jude" has said something to her about the most recent post. My friend even made me give her my autograph so that she could "give it to Jude as a present".
Now, I've never met this "Jude" - neither has anyone else I know.
My concern is: is "Jude" real?
Or should I arrange for my friend to receive a visit from the... er... doctors who work in the special building...?
...then we can start to make her better...
They were much better than the tribute band I was in at school.
This is for several reasons:
- we were called The Beatlets,
- we didn't have any guitars,
- there were only three of us (with one, Indian, singer).
Nevertheless, we still played in Assembly once or twice a term for almost two years!
God knows how I got away with not being bullied more...
Anyway I'm posting really because I'm worried about a friend of mine, who shall remain semi-nameless...
She says she doesn't really read my blog, yet she knows everything on it.
She doesn't have anything to say about it, but often she passes on comments from her friend "Jude".
"Jude" seems to be a big fan and appears to like the blog a lot. Every time I see my friend, "Jude" has said something to her about the most recent post. My friend even made me give her my autograph so that she could "give it to Jude as a present".
Now, I've never met this "Jude" - neither has anyone else I know.
My concern is: is "Jude" real?
Or should I arrange for my friend to receive a visit from the... er... doctors who work in the special building...?
...then we can start to make her better...
Tuesday, 27 March 2007
Saturday, 17 March 2007
I feel bad that I've slagged off Orthopods in the past, calling them simple creatures.
So I thought I'd give you an insight into the complicated world of Orthopaedic Surgery, thanks to the brilliant book
Advanced Examination Techniques in Orthopaedics.
(My scanner's not working so I've had to take photos - you'll need to click on them to see the picture in its full glory...)
Fig 1.Examination of the elbow
(It's an extraordinary book.)
Fig 2. Flexion of the middle finger
(Written by orthopaedic surgeons)
Fig 3. Abduction of the little finger
(It's carefully tailored to the target audience)
Fig 4. Alignment of the knees
(Examination skills are presented in a way the trainee surgeon can remember)
Fig 5. Flexion of the knee
(The book is exceptionally well illustrated)
Fig 6. Normal heel position when standing on tip-toes
(Very thorough)
What an excellent concept - a textbook that you want to look at!
Which is why I had to give it back to the library - several people have already reserved it... so hard-working these orthopods...
(To see if you've learnt anything, what do you think is being assessed in these two pictures? Answer will follow later...)
So I thought I'd give you an insight into the complicated world of Orthopaedic Surgery, thanks to the brilliant book
Advanced Examination Techniques in Orthopaedics.
(My scanner's not working so I've had to take photos - you'll need to click on them to see the picture in its full glory...)
Fig 1.Examination of the elbow
(It's an extraordinary book.)
Fig 2. Flexion of the middle finger
(Written by orthopaedic surgeons)
Fig 3. Abduction of the little finger
(It's carefully tailored to the target audience)
Fig 4. Alignment of the knees
(Examination skills are presented in a way the trainee surgeon can remember)
Fig 5. Flexion of the knee
(The book is exceptionally well illustrated)
Fig 6. Normal heel position when standing on tip-toes
(Very thorough)
What an excellent concept - a textbook that you want to look at!
Which is why I had to give it back to the library - several people have already reserved it... so hard-working these orthopods...
(To see if you've learnt anything, what do you think is being assessed in these two pictures? Answer will follow later...)
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