Waving (While Drowning)

If I don't make it to old age and die of natural causes, then I'm probably going to drown to death.


I can swim to save my life... but I'd prefer it if it didn't to come to that.

I've been snorkelling once before. It wasn't difficult.
So yesterday I jumped off the boat into the choppy waters of the Indian Ocean and was surprised to find I couldn't snorkel any more.

Instead I inhaled lungfulls of ocean. I'm not really designed for breathing underwater. If my nose is blocked (say, by a snorkelling mask) my natural instinct is to try & breathe in much harder until something gets into my lungs through my nose. In this case, lots of saltwater.

Despite being a singer, I'm actually quite bad at controlling my breathing. Which is why I am physically unable to smoke (even though it's cool & attracts the girls) - I just don't have the co-ordination.

I just couldn't overcome this whole breathing thing AND swim at the same time (I am only human after all) so I shamefully got back into the boat.

We went to much calmer waters a little later on, and there I could do it fine.
(Maybe it was 'cos I was wearing a life vest, I don't know)
First I hyperventilated.
Then I breathed liked Darth Vader with a head cold.
Then I sounded like a failed wean on ITU.
And finally, eventually, I was breathing normally.
So normally in fact that I couldn't hear myself breathing.
Because I'd stopped breathing.

Deep breath, glug glug glug, koff koff koff.

But after that setback, I got the hang of it pretty well. There were bazillions of fish, amazing colours, just indescribably beautiful. I just hung there as they swam around me. It was incredible.

After what seemed like hours, I eventually looked up, to find the boat & everyone else.

Gone.

I nearly pooed myself.

I have no sense of direction at the best of times. But thankfully, I was just facing the wrong way! Phew!

Saw a family of dolphins on the ride home too. Excellent!


So the trip's now going much better. I've found a few normal people to talk to, I've played football & volleyball (in Italian for some reason) and won the Karaoke competition last night.

I've had a really relaxing week. And it only cost the same as a week's camping!


Back on the truck in a few days - next stop South Africa!
Laters
-S-