Christ! Mass hopping

Xmas shopping, with a hangover, with my mum.
What I thinking...?

I genuinely like several Xmas songs - individually. But hearing them non-stop from October somehow isn't the same.

BTW, did you hear that in "Fairytale of New York" Radio 1 censored the words "slut" & "faggot"- for one day, until the complaints rolled in. And have you noticed that everyone's only playing the original Band Aid (Do they know it's Christmas) rather than the remake from a couple of years ago...?

In one shop yesterday they were playing dance remixes of old Xmas classics. We have a new Number One. I officially hate this style of Xmas music more than any other.


Anyway, I wasn't feeling too clever, and Mum was dragging me round looking for books for my brother.
He's notoriously difficult to buy for, being the intelligent one in the family (ie the one that doesn't work for the NHS).
Mum, on the other hand, tends to choose presents purely based on the colour & design of the cover, rather than, oh I don't know, the author or subject matter.
So as usual, I have to reject a huge number of books she suggests because they are, say, girly romantic novels, or for children. Or are utter bollocks.

After a while, she tells me I'm being "grumpy". And doesn't seem to notice that, the more times she calls me "grumpy", the more grumpy I get.

I got very grumpy.

Eventually, I stopped vetoing books - and now my brother's going to end up with stuff he doesn't want on Xmas morning and somehow I'll be to blame. Sod it, he'll love the present I got him, I spent ages choosing it and it cost a fortune!
Otherwise I'll murder him with it.

Shopping with Mum is usually difficult anyway. She is a more than a wee bit shorter than me (or almost anyone else in the world) but insists on holding my arm, so I have a constant stoop when I'm walking with her. And every now & then she vanishes like a small child; something shiny out of the way having caught her eye, she scurries off. So I end up like a distraught father trying to find a toddler in a crowded shop at Xmas.

Only worse, this toddler has a credit card and no taste.

Then again, shopping on my own is rubbish too sometimes:
- I always seem to look like I work there, whichever shop I'm in.

I don't know if this is a common phenomenon and that maybe everybody gets assumed to be an employee; I haven't conducted any kind of detailed survey yet. But this always happens to me, almost every time I go shopping. It's not the same as asking a passing fellow-shopper for a bit of help. That's fine. I'm usually very nice and will give someone a hand, especially if they're elderly and infirm.
Or if she's my age and attractive.

But I've checked. I'm not wearing a name badge that says "My name is Steve, I am paid to work here. How can I pretend to help you?"

Likewise I'm not wearing anything that could be mistake for uniform in that or any other shop.
(Schoolboy error - if you're Indian and eating in a curry house, don't wear a white shirt or people assume you work there.
I once took an entire table's order (including any bread or naan). Then I sat down and ate my dinner.)

But even if the staff in the shop wear shirts, ties & name badges, and I'm wearing a jumper, scarf & overcoat, people assume I work there. Why is this? Is it my face? Do I look too confident? Too grumpy?


I like to avoid shopping on purpose but buy things by accident. This is why I have racks of t-shirts I almost never wear (this is true sadly, as anyone who's ever visited my flat will testify; they even used to be in colour order, it's a bit OCD really, I probably should throw them all away... but they look so pretty there on their hangers...).
I've been trying for years to persuade any female friend to throw out 2/3 of my wardrobe and then take me shopping but no-one's ever risen to the challenge.

Then again, if you see how some of my friends dress, I look positively normal...
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I'm working over Christmas, but I'm doing nights. That way, I have to work when everyone else in the world is off, but I still get time to argue with my family. Double whammy.

If I don't blog in the next few days, I hope you all have a fantastic winter holiday, spending it how you want, with the people you want to be with.

Take care
- Suman -