Fancy

I'm several posts behind, but that's OK because I haven't got my internet working in my new flat. So you forgive me.

Went to a Hallowe'en party last week. I went to the fancy dress shop to find werewolf stuff (cos I hadn't shaved for a while, and anyway, it's really hard to look like the undead, vampire, zombie pirate, etc when you've got a tan like mine).

Werewolf costumes came in two categories:
1) Shit - totally crap, unconvincing, bit of felt stuck to the jaw. No fun there.
2) Werewolfoplasty - amazing full body transformation into a proper armed psycho-werewolf. But fucking expensive, especially for just one evening.

Luckily (actually, last time this happened I ended up travelling to Africa for a month) there was a really enthusiastic (OK, and cute) shop assistant. Much banter.

I leave the shop with devil horns and enough red body make-up to paint an elephant.

So I go to the party as the devil.

Lots of fun, particularly going up to strangers who've had far too much to drink and telling them that they're "on my list".

But after a while the make up runs a bit in the heat.

You can identify anyone I'd kissed on the cheek by the red stain.

And when I got up the next morning, there were traces of red make-up on the taps, sink, light switches, walls. And I was moving out in a few hours. Bugger.

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I'm going to a Bad Taste Party this evening.


The hostess is going as Maddy.

I was considering going as the hostess's ex, and harassing her all evening. I think the joke would wear thin pretty quickly tho. And I don't want to go as a knobhead.

My physiotherapist friend is refusing to lend me her jumper (so I can cover the "THE" in PHYSIOTHERAPIST)


I've got one idea, but can you suggest anything else? Preferably easy...