Public hair

I like having a beard

Granted, it's only been for a week or so, it's more of an unshavenness. But it feels nice when I stroke it and that's ALL that matters.

It's not quite the sort of beard that small children can grab onto and hang from yet. (My mate has one of those beards - he's a Moslem - and it took all the strength I could find to not pull on it whenever I saw him. That's why we stopped being friends. Honest. It wasn't anything stupid I might've said...)

The reason for my furry facial growth is that I don't like shaving. It's not that I can't do it - I don't get cuts or anything. Unlike some people, I'm not dangerous with sharp metal (go on, count the fingers - I think you'll find all twelve are there).
It's just that when I shave daily - even really carefully with one of those fancy sonic, 5-blade, laser-powered wizard razors - within two hours it looks like I haven't shaved.

For days.

Although I don't want you thinking I'm some kind of testosterone-overloaded werewolf. The rest of my body is normal (not that I've tried shaving anywhere else - what would be the point, I don't need to be quite that aerodynamic in my day-to-day life). But stubble tends to reappear on my chinny-chin-chin quite quickly. And it looks a bit rubbish.

I need to look good tomorrow - I have an entire day of intense exams, face-to-face with elite, experienced examiners who could make or break my career aspiratoins if they don't like my tie, let alone my answers. So I want to do anything I can to make a good impression. I toyed with the idea of growing a goatee, thinking it might ooze confidence. But last time I tried one, I looked more like I was oozing ooze, a bit to sleazy for an exam at the Royal College.

So I'm going to shave tomorrow morning before the first exam.
And again at lunchtime before the afternoon session.


I'm sure the examiners will be really impressed when I walk in holding a blade...