Good buy

I've had a few incidents in shops this week...

1) Hospital shop.
One of those places run by volunteers ie. elderly widows, usually closer to death than most of the patients. I fancied a non-fizzy drink so I got a bottle of flavoured water from the fridge (to keep things anonymous let's call it "Vulvic") & took it to the counter:

- That'll be 94p please. It's disgusting.
= 'scuse me?
- It's terrible. It really is.
= What is?
- How can they charge so much for a bottle of water. I wish I didn't have to take so much money from you, young man. I'm really sorry but there's nothing I can do about it.

I was stunned - such poor sales technique.
I went back later & nicked one when she wasn't looking. I think it's what she would've wanted.



2) Card shop.
A mate of mine recently announced his engagement. I tried to find a realistic card, but they don't make any which mention pregnancy, biological clocks or disappointment; they only had ones which were pastel or silver, all teddy bears & hearts - what's that got to do with weddings?

In the end, I found one with an arguing couple on the front, so I took it to the counter. Two chavvy salesgirls were there nattering, one was chewing her hair, the other looked like she was counting her nails.

- That's one ninety-nine please. My arse is really sore.

I stared blankly at her as she got my change. Her mate answered before I could give any advice. Just as well I s'pose.



3) Clothes.
I've discovered a great new game if the shop assistant working the till looks a bit, well, simple. Find something not for sale & take it to the counter. And wait.

First they look EVERYWHERE for a price tag. Only then do they get properly confused. Usually they then open their mouth to try and say something, but nothing comes out. After that they go and check with the manager. Finally they come back and say:

- I'm sorry, but my manager says it's not for sale. Do you want a store card?

I find this works best with mirrors, chairs and display dummies.



Shame - I really want a t-shirt with "SALE" written on it.