Yesterday a stranger came up to me and told me I was a Prince* lookalike.
* presumably the singer, as opposed to a member of the Royal family...
* presumably the singer, as opposed to a member of the Royal family...
Saturday, 22 March 2008
Sunday, 16 March 2008
"I know it's been a while since I have talked to you..."
- Oh God, Jamie Cullum*
I've had a heavy week - I've been back at work on the shop floor after two weeks ofrelaxing study leave and I'm knackered. Maybe it's being exposed to anaesthetic vapours again after several weeks away...
In any case, I've made up for it by having a truly efficient weekend:
FRIDAY:
When I got home after work, I was gonna start writing my Monday morning presentation then go to a party. But I was really tired and ended up in bed asleep by 10pm.
(Turns out if I'd gone to the party I would have caught up with five friends I haven't seen for over 4 years. Bugger.)
SATURDAY:
Before starting on the presentation, I had a bit of a play on the new computer. Magically, it suddenly became evening; I escorted a friend across town to her mate's birthday drinks in a pub. Scarily, the birthday boy was more like me than I am... We got on brilliantly, could predict what the other would say & do and ended up getting very confused. (I didn't get any presents though)
Afterwards I wandered back across town. I got impressively sodden by the rain considering that it was only drizzling (OK, I did get a little lost... I reckon London changes shape after a few drinks. I'm sure I crossed more than one river...)
And on the tube home, there was a signal problem & we were stuck underground not moving for over half an hour. In desperation, one bloke went round the carriage collecting empty bottles & then peed in them, much to the embarrassment of his poor girlfriend. Thank goodness we weren't in there longer or he'd probably have killed someone & eaten them.
I eventually turned up to my friend's house party at half one in the morning. Immediately I was ushered upstairs to where several people were tending to the hostess who had suffered a minor head injury. Soon as I arrived, everyone who had been looking after her vanished. It was just like being at work, the anaesthetist arriving in A&E... (sigh)
I spent my time at the party trying to work out why some people were wearing togas & others looked like they'd been in a big fight. My friend has complex fancy dress rules...
SUNDAY:
I beat my hangover into submission with steak. (It's the only thing it would listen to.)
Back home, I finally opened up Powerpoint...
...then of course I spent the afternoon watching Sesame Street songs on YouTube (eg James Blunt singing "My Triangle" & R.E.M. doing "Furry Happy Monsters" (genuinely cringeworthy); but you have got to watch Stevie Wonder's version of Superstition on Sesame Street... it's excellent!)
It was getting dark when I eventually started writing the presentation.
I did the title page.
I found a few funny pictures to put in it.
And then I went to church. Obvously.
My old uni were having their Easter concert and a few of my old friends were going. So while the fresh faces were performing their little hearts out, we veterans were sitting at the back thinking - ooh, it were better in our day...
The second half finished with music from Last Night of the Proms. And like the Last Night, there were drunks at the back singing along very loudly.
(I apologise to any blog-readers who were in that audience.)
Having said that, eight of us outsang an entire choir. Bring it on.
Which takes us to now, late Sunday night.
I have finally got round to posting on my blog. I will post again soon.
But first, I've just got to write this presentation...
-S-
* "Oh God" is the name of a great Jamie Cullum song.
Admittedly, Oh God, Jamie Cullum is also some peoples' reaction...
- Oh God, Jamie Cullum*
I've had a heavy week - I've been back at work on the shop floor after two weeks of
In any case, I've made up for it by having a truly efficient weekend:
FRIDAY:
When I got home after work, I was gonna start writing my Monday morning presentation then go to a party. But I was really tired and ended up in bed asleep by 10pm.
(Turns out if I'd gone to the party I would have caught up with five friends I haven't seen for over 4 years. Bugger.)
SATURDAY:
Before starting on the presentation, I had a bit of a play on the new computer. Magically, it suddenly became evening; I escorted a friend across town to her mate's birthday drinks in a pub. Scarily, the birthday boy was more like me than I am... We got on brilliantly, could predict what the other would say & do and ended up getting very confused. (I didn't get any presents though)
Afterwards I wandered back across town. I got impressively sodden by the rain considering that it was only drizzling (OK, I did get a little lost... I reckon London changes shape after a few drinks. I'm sure I crossed more than one river...)
And on the tube home, there was a signal problem & we were stuck underground not moving for over half an hour. In desperation, one bloke went round the carriage collecting empty bottles & then peed in them, much to the embarrassment of his poor girlfriend. Thank goodness we weren't in there longer or he'd probably have killed someone & eaten them.
I eventually turned up to my friend's house party at half one in the morning. Immediately I was ushered upstairs to where several people were tending to the hostess who had suffered a minor head injury. Soon as I arrived, everyone who had been looking after her vanished. It was just like being at work, the anaesthetist arriving in A&E... (sigh)
I spent my time at the party trying to work out why some people were wearing togas & others looked like they'd been in a big fight. My friend has complex fancy dress rules...
SUNDAY:
I beat my hangover into submission with steak. (It's the only thing it would listen to.)
Back home, I finally opened up Powerpoint...
...then of course I spent the afternoon watching Sesame Street songs on YouTube (eg James Blunt singing "My Triangle" & R.E.M. doing "Furry Happy Monsters" (genuinely cringeworthy); but you have got to watch Stevie Wonder's version of Superstition on Sesame Street... it's excellent!)
It was getting dark when I eventually started writing the presentation.
I did the title page.
I found a few funny pictures to put in it.
And then I went to church. Obvously.
My old uni were having their Easter concert and a few of my old friends were going. So while the fresh faces were performing their little hearts out, we veterans were sitting at the back thinking - ooh, it were better in our day...
The second half finished with music from Last Night of the Proms. And like the Last Night, there were drunks at the back singing along very loudly.
(I apologise to any blog-readers who were in that audience.)
Having said that, eight of us outsang an entire choir. Bring it on.
Which takes us to now, late Sunday night.
I have finally got round to posting on my blog. I will post again soon.
But first, I've just got to write this presentation...
-S-
* "Oh God" is the name of a great Jamie Cullum song.
Admittedly, Oh God, Jamie Cullum is also some peoples' reaction...
Thursday, 6 March 2008
Sunday, 2 March 2008
I've played a few games of poker recently. And I've been doing bloody well.
That's because I have a special gift that none of the other guys I'm playing against have.
I'm rubbish.
If you'll pardon the card-game-related pun, I'm crap.
I genuinely do not know what I'm doing. I have almost no clue what's going on. Obviously I have some idea - I know a pair is good; and three of the same is better. But now we're pretty much at the limit of my knowledge already.
That's because I have a special gift that none of the other guys I'm playing against have.
I'm rubbish.
If you'll pardon the card-game-related pun, I'm crap.
I genuinely do not know what I'm doing. I have almost no clue what's going on. Obviously I have some idea - I know a pair is good; and three of the same is better. But now we're pretty much at the limit of my knowledge already.
Therefore I'm not encumbered* by being able to calculate that the cards that I've been dealt give me, say, a 17% chance of making a straight or that I have odds of 1-in-however many of making a full house.
I'm having a GREAT time!
I've played half a dozen games against people who would call themselves "Poker Players". (Think about it - you can probably play football... but you're unlikely to call yourself a "Footballer" unless you're of a certain standard)
But every single time, I've wiped nearly all of them out.
They've even nicknamed me "The Assassin". And they're properly scared.
And so they should be. An analogy is how you would feel if you handed a monkey a loaded gun. The monkey doesn't know what it's doing, but it could still quite easily kill you.
I think part of the problem is that I'm not really in it for the cards. I like to sit there piling my chips up neatly according to colour in nice piles or 8 or 10.
Maybe I have an element of autism.
The pressure can get quite heavy. These guys take their poker very seriously. They are really good. They tend to find it off-putting, waiting for me to do something with my cards when I'm giggling like a small child distracted by playing with the stacks & stacks of chips in front of me. One guy keeps losing to me solely because he's really stressed about losing to me again.
I'm not quite sure how I do so well. My naivety of what's good & what's bad certainly help me along no end. But there must be a massive element of luck. There just has to be. I could do with channelling that luck elsewhere in my life...
I've been up against some very good players. They can be seriously intimidating & there are times when I really don't want to play 'cos of the glares I'm getting. It can all get so much that sometimes I just play whatever my cards are just to get the other guy off my case. But then I go & win & he gets more wound up.
I usually play with a friend of mine who is properly poker-mad - I'm convinced he will give his first-born a name like Jack or Ace. He gets a little upset when I knock him out (usually by accident) - and then later on in the game, if I play a hand at random, and the other players are saying something like "interesting, good call" or whatever, he's jumping up and down going "No! No! He doesn't know what he's doing!".
But it's a good thing we don't play for money. I never win. Last week there were 33 of us playing; it ended up with just me versus one other guy on the top table head to head, hundreds of chips piled up in front of each of us. I tried to build a small fortress. Four hands later, all the chips were in front of him. Ho hum.
Funny thing is though when I played at New Year against some school friends - who are as bad as I am - I lost every time, very very quickly. Ironic
I'm having a GREAT time!
I've played half a dozen games against people who would call themselves "Poker Players". (Think about it - you can probably play football... but you're unlikely to call yourself a "Footballer" unless you're of a certain standard)
But every single time, I've wiped nearly all of them out.
They've even nicknamed me "The Assassin". And they're properly scared.
And so they should be. An analogy is how you would feel if you handed a monkey a loaded gun. The monkey doesn't know what it's doing, but it could still quite easily kill you.
I think part of the problem is that I'm not really in it for the cards. I like to sit there piling my chips up neatly according to colour in nice piles or 8 or 10.
Maybe I have an element of autism.
The pressure can get quite heavy. These guys take their poker very seriously. They are really good. They tend to find it off-putting, waiting for me to do something with my cards when I'm giggling like a small child distracted by playing with the stacks & stacks of chips in front of me. One guy keeps losing to me solely because he's really stressed about losing to me again.
I'm not quite sure how I do so well. My naivety of what's good & what's bad certainly help me along no end. But there must be a massive element of luck. There just has to be. I could do with channelling that luck elsewhere in my life...
I've been up against some very good players. They can be seriously intimidating & there are times when I really don't want to play 'cos of the glares I'm getting. It can all get so much that sometimes I just play whatever my cards are just to get the other guy off my case. But then I go & win & he gets more wound up.
I usually play with a friend of mine who is properly poker-mad - I'm convinced he will give his first-born a name like Jack or Ace. He gets a little upset when I knock him out (usually by accident) - and then later on in the game, if I play a hand at random, and the other players are saying something like "interesting, good call" or whatever, he's jumping up and down going "No! No! He doesn't know what he's doing!".
But it's a good thing we don't play for money. I never win. Last week there were 33 of us playing; it ended up with just me versus one other guy on the top table head to head, hundreds of chips piled up in front of each of us. I tried to build a small fortress. Four hands later, all the chips were in front of him. Ho hum.
Funny thing is though when I played at New Year against some school friends - who are as bad as I am - I lost every time, very very quickly. Ironic
Or perhaps not. Maybe we're all monkeys with guns...
*If you're wondering where you've heard the word "encumber" before, it's in the lyrics to "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother".
*If you're wondering where you've heard the word "encumber" before, it's in the lyrics to "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother".
You're welcome.
Tuesday, 26 February 2008
So there's this big lump of land over to the west of Ireland... and the rules say that you can't have the same idiot in charge of it for more than 8 years so now the people who live there have to pick someone new to start all the wars. The newspaper people are very happy because they won't have to try hard all year to get any news stories.
There are two main teams, and there are lots of games to play to see who will be the leader of each team.
One side are being very brave because they want to pick someone who's a bit different to all the other leaders before; they are going to choose between a man who's daddy is from Kenya and woman who's husband used to be leader. So really it's kind of a competition to see whether the country is more racist or sexist.
Both of the people who want to be in charge of the team travel around the country and talk a lot. Meanwhile the newspaper, telly & internet people try & make the whole thing more exciting by finding old pictures & stories and by pretending they said or did stuff that they didn't.
The other teams are boring. But the leader of the other big team will probably win overall because everyone will be fed up by the time they have to choose. Or too confused.
Anyway, that's the backstory.
There's a big news website over there that was trying to explain the whole thing a few weeks ago... and must've got bored because by the end of the article they were talking about Amateur Transplants!!
Here's what they wrote.
Maybe we should start a petition going...
There are two main teams, and there are lots of games to play to see who will be the leader of each team.
One side are being very brave because they want to pick someone who's a bit different to all the other leaders before; they are going to choose between a man who's daddy is from Kenya and woman who's husband used to be leader. So really it's kind of a competition to see whether the country is more racist or sexist.
Both of the people who want to be in charge of the team travel around the country and talk a lot. Meanwhile the newspaper, telly & internet people try & make the whole thing more exciting by finding old pictures & stories and by pretending they said or did stuff that they didn't.
The other teams are boring. But the leader of the other big team will probably win overall because everyone will be fed up by the time they have to choose. Or too confused.
Anyway, that's the backstory.
There's a big news website over there that was trying to explain the whole thing a few weeks ago... and must've got bored because by the end of the article they were talking about Amateur Transplants!!
Here's what they wrote.
Maybe we should start a petition going...
Saturday, 23 February 2008
There aren't any more tickets left for the Leeds Ball next week.
(In a good way I presume.)
The next few gigs will be advertised when I have the details.
Not before.
It's awfully nice of people contacting me & asking about gigs, but I can't say anything for sure until the details are finalised, so there's no point; but when gigs are properly confirmed then I'll put all the details up here for everyone to know about.
eg. I don't have any more details about the Leeds gig in May; in future I won't mention a gig until tickets are on sale...
On to other news...
It was bloody man-flu.
The feeling-like-death (sorry if I've gone too medical for you) settled after 5 days and now all I have is an annoying loud cough. And a lot of partially deaf colleagues.
I spent most of the week wearing disposable surgical masks. And trying to moonwalk.
I'm going to fiddle round with the websites for a bit so bear with me...
-S-
(In a good way I presume.)
The next few gigs will be advertised when I have the details.
Not before.
It's awfully nice of people contacting me & asking about gigs, but I can't say anything for sure until the details are finalised, so there's no point; but when gigs are properly confirmed then I'll put all the details up here for everyone to know about.
eg. I don't have any more details about the Leeds gig in May; in future I won't mention a gig until tickets are on sale...
On to other news...
It was bloody man-flu.
The feeling-like-death (sorry if I've gone too medical for you) settled after 5 days and now all I have is an annoying loud cough. And a lot of partially deaf colleagues.
I spent most of the week wearing disposable surgical masks. And trying to moonwalk.
I'm going to fiddle round with the websites for a bit so bear with me...
-S-
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