Cheese!

In the Sixteenth Century, the lords who governed the area which was to become the county of Gloucestershire were faced with a crisis.

There were too many stupid people. And they were multiplying.

This had a knock-on effect on the use of resources and the local communities.

The governors had a meeting to create a way of getting the idiots to self-select and remove themselves from the gene-pool. One man suggested asking them to throw themselves off a cliff.
How could we possibly get them to do that? asked another.


And so... cheese-rolling was born.


I went to see a re-enactment of this astonishing method of social engineering last Monday at Gloucester's Annual Cheese Rolling Festival. Yes, you did read that correctly.

A piece of cheese is lobbed down an insanely steep hill (the photos on the BBC news website do not even begin to do it justice) followed by people who nowadays have come from all around the world to take part. Especially Australians (so kind of in-keeping with the original culling-of-the-unwanted ethos of the event.)

The winner gets to keep the cheese. (And has first dibs on the ambulance.)

I'm just glad I wasn't working on the Trauma operating list - there looked like a lot of bones being broken on the bumpy tumble down...
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On the photos front - my camera went missing in action, but I'm getting it back soon. And my Grade 1 shearing disaster has already matured into about a Grade 3 (my hair grows fiendishly quickly - it's my one superpower... if only I could find a way of harnessing it for good, not evil...)

I'll try & dig out some photos when I tell you about the fancy dress party I went to...

Smile!

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Reflective Practice

1. Describe interesting, difficult or uncomfortable experiences. Try to record both positive and not so positive elements. What made the experience memorable?

The one thing worse than your friends shaving your head while you're drunkenly asleep... is when you wake up hungover and think it's a good idea to do it yourself.

The first bit was easy: bzzzzz-thunk - throw hair on the floor - repeat. Within a minute, I had liberated enough head-hair to create a very convincing fake Arabic beard (not that I'd ever want to do such a thing).

Although at that stage, with half scalped with long random tufts waiting to be mown down, I think I looked like a badly half-plucked chicken.


I say "I think" because then there was the power cut.


2. How did it affect you?

What do you think? I couldn't see, but I knew I looked mentally ill (although I was only going to Brighton for lunch, so I'd probably look normal there).


3. How did it affect the patient?

(Patient? Well, I guess that's me)
I was not happy.
Eventually found the appropriate trip switches and got back to the shearing. It is very difficult to shave the back of your own head. Properly. I eventually rigged up a series of mirrors, but even so had to move my hand in one direction to get the shaver in the mirror to move the opposite way.

And finally, after about an hour of identifying strays and cutting them down, it was finally all done.


4. How did it affect the team?

Everyone I have met since then has pissed themselves laughing.

(Except for maybe one elderly patient who I think pissed herself for another reason).


5. What did you learn from the experience, and what (if anything) would you do differently next time?

Get drunk & persuade someone else to do it.

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They never learn...

And of course this classic.

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Sad News

Nothing which will really bum you out, but enough to put me on a bit of a downer...

Was quite upset to hear that one of the professors who taught when I was at Medical School had died last week. Most readers will have come across Prof John Henry, who was probably Britain's foremost Toxicologist & Poisons expert, advising the government on quite a few high profile cases (... as well as answering Ali G's questions about drugs). He was a really nice man too & will be sadly missed by a large number of people.

Two weeks on, my car's still in Critical Care waiting for a new valve (or something).

Disappointment on the Funny Foot front:
Hello from Walls, Thank you for your recent E-mail.
Unfortunately, the product has been discontinued. You may find a few remaining items in store but Unilever has decided to discontinue the item due to low levels of demand. Please accept my apolgies for any disappointment that this may cause.

I suppose it is looking more likely that the job application system might become a little more fair - although the current solution of "we'll still give out most of the jobs our way, but we'll go back to the old system for round 2 to fill the last few training jobs and the remaining ten thousand doctors will have to look for something else" is not really there yet.

My interview went OK (although no-one even wanted to look at the beautiful wine list portfolio I've spent ages creating) - and I did get to see my mum for the first time in months & take her out for lunch afterwards.

And it is the weekend...

Oh well, mustn't grumble.

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Now what?

Front page news on the BBC website (for about 3 hours) was that MTAS has, unsurprisingly, been scrapped.

Which is great in some respects. No-one will get a job unfairly.
But...er... how will any of us get a job now?

The old way, of everyone applying wherever they want to work, means more application forms and more interviews! Arrrgh!

Should I still go to my MTAS interview tomorrow? Will there be anyone there? I hope so - I've spent ages making my portfolio look nice, the printing, the binding...

(Bugger. I've just realised it looks just like a restaurant wine list.)

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druM eT bAsS

Here's a video describing the fundamental issues regarding doctors' jobs in simple terms...



...set to a rather brilliant drum 'n' bass choon. Have a look.
(Dancing optional - volume control's in the corner)

Next post will be after my interview on Wednesday...

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Not Cool

This is the UK, the greatest nation in the world. It's 2007. We have pioneering technology everywhere in our lives, and are living a luxury compared to how things were a decade or two ago, for goodness sake. And yet...

Actually no, I won't rant. In the grand scheme of things, it's really not a big deal.

I just want an ice cream. On a stick.

A Funny Foot.

Apparently, Wall's has relaunched them (I didn't know they'd stopped making them). But I can't find one anywhere. In any supermarket or newsagent. And believe me, I've looked every time I've been in one for the last few months.

So where can I get me a Funny Foot? Hmm? Anybody?

Or for that matter, a Toffee Crumble..

...which has to be THE best choc/nut/biscuit-coated ice-cream-with-a-toffee-centre on a stick in this or any other universe.
I hadn't seen one since I was little, so when I found some last year in a corner shop in Birmingham last year I bought them all - and finished them off within a few hours (but there were less than a dozen to begin with, so it's allowed). Mmm...

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You will be fooled...

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Cardiac Arrest

I have a fairly middle-aged car, normally fit & well.

I've always put the right stuff into the tank, taken it for regular check-ups, never over-exerted it...

Recently I've noticed it sounding a little tired going up hills.

And since the start of the week, the engine fans have started puffing on minimal effort.

Then yesterday the dash lights all came on down one side.
It wasn't relieved by stopping the car.

It's never smoked. Drinks only unleaded.


I took the poor thing to the garage and the nice doctor man diagnosed a circulation problem.


I think my car's had a heart attack.


They kept it in overnight.
Might need a thermostat transplant.

I'm so worried. (sniff) I love my car. It's the only one I've got...

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ahem...

HAPPY STAR WARS DAY!

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